The Personal is Political: No Wedding, No Womb Pt. II

I'm a fan of Ashley Judd and Marisa Tomei (who got her start as "Maggie" on "A Different World"), so naturally, at some point in 2001, I didn't turn the channel when a movie entitled, "Someone Like You" aired, since they appeared on screen. Unless they're of the Jerry McGuire or Bridget Jones variety, I try not to consume hoards of romantic comedies centered on white people. And you know why, including all the intelligent white folks reading... I'm trying to maintain a high level of self-esteem, a somewhat healthy body image and the hope that Mr. Right will show up with a Malcolm X fedora, a Morpheus trench and set of shades and wearing flip flops like "Black Jesus". We shall see...

In any event, "Someone Like You" is, well, this review is so doggone good and gets right to the point, so let's just read it aloud together:

Consider Someone Like You, in which heroine Jane Goodale (Ashley Judd) is summarily dumped just before embarking on a live-in relationship. This so devastates her that she begins compulsively poring over psychological, anthropological, and philosophical tomes, all in an effort to make sense of the inconstant way the male animal conducts himself. Eventually she alights on a possible explanation in the natural world -- the reluctance among bulls to mate with a given cow more than once -- and less-than-scientifically projects this characteristic across great swaths of the mammalian kingdom to conclude that unfaithfulness is inherent to the male gender, regardless of its species.

Her research for this theory, which she dubs the "New Cow" theory, takes for experimental subjects not only Ray (Greg Kinnear), the aforementioned ex-lover, but also Eddie (Hugh Jackman), a womanizing coworker with whom she must move in after her falling out with Ray leaves her homeless. As Eddie brings home one sex partner after another, Jane psychoanalyzes him relentlessly -- culling information for a monthly column she eventually begins writing for a men's magazine, yes, but also trying, by proxy, to distill Ray's actions into an abstract principle. This will let her turn her recent breakup into an inevitable act of nature and she can thereby avoid the unthinkable alternative, the possibility that something in her identity leaves her singularly susceptible to rejection: "If this theory's wrong," she wails to Eddie later in the movie, "men don't leave all women -- they leave me."

The "New Cow" theory was bunk and, ladies and gentlemen, such is the case for the "No Wedding, No Womb" campaign. By the way, if you're thinking of any words that begin with the letter "H" right now, I'm judging you---and me.

As I explained in Part I: Sloganeering and Slacktivism: The No Wedding, No Womb Campaign, organizer, Christelyn Karazin, was so ashamed of her symbol of unprotected, premarital sex---pregnancy---that she bought a cubic zirconia ring and wore it on her wedding finger to protect herself from the ridicule and judgment of strangers. I guess she didn't like it, so she put a ring on it.

Is that a ring you're wearing? Look, Bish, don't judge me!

But without a general understanding of Women’s History and previous attempts at policing women’s expression, in general, and their sexuality, in particular, delineations and reformations of the Victorian-era-derived “Cult of True Womanhood” will continue, in spite of itself. This is why the dichotomy continues and why, even in Black Christian churches, various choirs (hilariously) reformulated Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” and turned it into some type of spiritual hymn (or Deacon remix), curiously wagging the finger (like Mother Wisdom) at single women in the congregation.

What? Y'all think I waited? I'm way too flexible for alla that!

And, yet, if my understanding of the song, “Yes” on the “Dangerously in Love” album is correct, one could easily conclude that Beyonce had sex before and during her premarital relationship with Jay-Z. Perhaps if she spoke more about their (obviously) effective use of birth control, as opposed to pretending as though “Sasha Fierce” only gets down on the dance floor, then “Single Ladies” might be understood in its proper context. But we can’t blame Beyonce’ for other peoples’ misinterpretations of her lyricism and imagery or how she manipulates the confining dichotomy she didn't create. That's probably why this Saturday Night Live skit with Justin Timberlake always leaves me in stitches. But I digress...

Uh uh Oh, oh oh oh oh oh ohhhhh...

I find myself usually alarmed (and then quickly annoyed) whenever I see attempts at moral suasion without any substantive, socio-political analysis or inclusion of social justice or any form of direct action. For example, listing the many statistics which showcase the results of “single parent” and/or “fatherless households” relative to education, crime, poverty, etc., is important but short-sighted, especially when the focus is placed upon people of color---and No Wedding, No Womb, is nothing if not focused upon African American women who have the highest rates of female-headed households in the country.

This is What an Effective Campaign Looks Like *side eyes* NWNW

We all have concern for our families and children in America. But to deny or otherwise diminish the role of the system of white supremacy, the impact of structural inequality, poverty, discrimination against the working poor and to exclude any direct action (or even moral suasion!) against the injustices of ongoing segregation, disinvestment from public education, the school-to-prison pipeline and the prison industrial complex upon people of color, in particular, is wholly irresponsible and ultimately, as Christelyn, participants in “No Wedding, No Womb” and many others have seen, ineffective and irrelevant to the daily realities of our lives---despite seemingly good intentions.

Why would I talk about the system of white supremacy, structural inequality and the relationship between that and the condition of Black families? Because in 1960, many of our families were in tact, not only as nuclear families but extended as well (yes, the African village some wish to deny exists). But something else happened in 1960 and it was the dramatic, climatic rise of an extraordinarily successful campaign that would further ignite the Civil Rights Movement. I'm going to get to that in my next post.

Y'all see all this hate? Whatev, I'm not turning back the clock! I'm not your Auntie!

Suffice it to say, the Conservative backlash to the Civil Rights Movement's successful display that separate was NOT equal, was intended to make Americans think that the reason why equality (measured in equal results) isn't necessary is because there is something inherently wrong with Black people and Black culture. Thus, if the country is "separate", it's because Black people separate themselves from real, hardworking Americans who value education and family.

It's a white supremacist idea, rooted in economic competition, disguised as a "New Cow" theory. And too many people have fallen for it, including too many persons in the Black Church. Mind you, George Bush's Faith-Based Initiative checks helped, didn't they, Eddie?

"You like my cologne? The secret ingredient is holy water. Praise Him!"

Another such person who seems to be entirely ignorant or in deep denial of what's happening here is Christelyn Karazin. But she has many in the Black blogosphere who unconsciously, unknowingly and unfortunately harbor and perpetuate these notions as well. Quite often, they appear as a brigade of intelligent Black women (and they are) whose painful life experiences with Black men and their clear inability to understand or counter the system of white supremacy has led to the "Black men ain't sh*t" messaging of internalized racism. In some ways, they beckon my compassion, as we have all been hurt, but like Ashley Judd's character realized in "Someone Like You", the "New Cow" theory is not the solution to our problems; and neither is internalized oppression. Instead of theories, take a look at the facts from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention on parenting, especially non-marital parents (thanks, @saigrundy).

We don’t need a professional, Black, Bristol Palin who feels the need to prescribe an abstinence to which she didn’t subscribe. The fact of the matter is, had Sarah and (ex-patriate promoting) Todd Palin been pragmatic about their daughter’s curiosity and engaged in full sex education and birth control (even with an emphasis on abstinence) as opposed to turning a blind eye to the realities of a teenage life in America while preaching abstinence-only, then we would not have to suffer through seeing her on “Dancing With the Stars” or Levi Johnston’s pitiful run for Mayor or his interview with Lawrence O’Donnell but no, they didn’t spare us, so I won’t spare them.

"Hmmm, how can I get out of this and still shame other women to please my Mom?"

And as much as I might like to, I can’t spare Christelyn; because when she appeared on Michael Dyson’s radio program, she would not even own up to her own campaign. Despite being the organizer, she insists she’s not the leader. Despite focusing upon African American women in her own narrative, she denies that the focus on fatherlessness leans disproportionately towards Black men. And she insists that despite having intense shame about being a single parent, “No Wedding, No Womb” has nothing to do with shaming single mothers today. She even went so far to (hilariously) suggest that she doesn't even really mean "wedding", per se, but to simply be "wedded" to the children. Oh Christelyn... please immediately head over to the stellar Co-Parenting 101 Website and free yourself.

On the NWNW FAQ page (which she tweeted to me), in answering the question, “What gives you the right to do this?”, she responded: I’m a baby mamma’ LISTEN TO MY MISSION: [which was a plug to the theme song] I do this for my daughter, and my daughter’s daughter, and all the children of our future.” I find this more than interesting because a “baby mamma” is actually a woman who has a child and is not married. According to Christelyn, she found a man who happens to be white, they fell in love and he accepted her and her child as a package deal. So, technically speaking, she is NOT a “baby mamma”. But what would make her say such a thing? Being plagued by having been one…

I should note that almost 24 hours after having written a large portion of this post, I asked Christelyn a few questions on Twitter and she never responded. I was extremely respectful to her (see below). My questions were:

Start from the bottom and scroll up. That's how Twitter works.

And she blocked me. I learned shortly thereafter that she had blocked many others who questioned or disagreed with her point of view in any way, shape or form. Way to go Christelyn, excellent campaign strategies you have there…

There is just too much that doesn’t add up and there are tons of other ways to support children, create a more egalitarian society and provide holistic education about safe sex, the realities of parenting and available options for birth control (including abstinence), that can and will continue despite a campaign that cannot sustain the shame upon which it is founded.

I'm amazed at this album cover. It's brilliant!

I love Salt N Pepa's fun, sexy and outspoken feminist imagery, so when “Let’s Talk About Sex” and “Do You Want Me?” debuted on their “Black’s Magic” album, released December 8, 1992, it was perfect for my burgeoning sexuality and, apparently, many others’. “Let’s Talk About Sex” became the anthem for a number of different campaigns more than happy to have a theme song that would allow parents and guardians to more comfortably enter into conversations about sex and reproduction with their children. After all, we couldn’t rely on Grease’s “Reproduction” and the characteristic bass line, “I’ve got your pistol right here” forever.

Let’s talk about sex, baby

Let’s talk about you and me

Let’s talk about all the good things

And the bad things that can be

Let’s talk about sex

Let’s talk about sex!

Notice how we have a great song which invites open conversation and learning without shaming or placing a heavier emphasis upon the female body? You had no idea Salt-N-Pepa were this deep, hunh? On this same album, “Do You Want Me?” provided an anthem that helped me decipher man-speak and manipulation and gave me a phat beat with which to jam as well:

You said it loud / and I heard ya

Never tried to hurt you

Some say I’m old fashioned

I like to take my time and do it slow, you know?

But don’t try to rush it

So, ride it like a horse / and let nature take its course

Get to know each other

Be my friend, no just my lover

Share your thoughts with me

Love my mind, not just my body, baby!

Do you really want me, baby?

Let me know

Cuz if you really want me, I suggest you tell me so

Got no time for playing games, that ain’t even why I came

Cuz I may be / the kinda guy you like

Those lyrics became an anthem. I was not ashamed to say I was old fashioned and I loved how the question was posed to the man, asking "Do You Really Want Me, Baby?" while rejoicing in the phat beat that could make our booties shake but did not require us to give them up.

“No Wedding, No Womb” does actually have a nice theme song (which is why they call this a multimedia campaign) to which I promptly did the snake and began gyrating my pelvis:

No Wedding No Womb Theme Song! by LJpress

So maybe, like other artists, this campaign should stick moreso to its singing than anything else.

We must be ever vigilant so that we do not end up evaluating each other using a standard of measurement created by white supremacist thinking - bell hooks

Jesus Be Solange’s Womb Producing Julez.

Special Shoutout to Saida Grundy @saigrundy for her excellent timeline, @alvinthethird for the bell hooks quote and Twitter's continued elucidation on #NWNW

Why "They" Don't Understand What Black People Do on Twitter

President Barack Obama Signs BrownTwitterBirds into Law
Original Graphic by http://lidia-anain.com/

Yesterday, Twitter was all a-flutter for yet another ignorant article trying to tell readers about Black people. For me, the best response to the Slate article on "How Black People Use Twitter" was not the poor manner in which the article did NOT explain how Black people use Twitter. Rather, it was the immediate response of one Tweeter named @InnyVinny who, in her frustration, wrote on her blogsite in all caps, "BLACK PEOPLE ARE NOT A MONOLITH" and then went on to, literally, remix the basic brown twitter bird with the diverse array of Black people---on Twitter. Hers was a visual art protest that parallels, if not supercedes the artist who created the Fail Whale and other popular images on Twitter. In one fell swoop, (now a hashtag: #browntwitterbird), @InnyVinny put on display what is so painstakingly obvious for most of us --- "you don't know me! You don't know my LIFE!"

You see, in this list are the loc-wearers, the wig doners, the sports enthusiasts, the hometown reppers, the Afrocentrists, the ghetto fabulous, the afro'ed up, the regal ones and the graduates, the lovers of Prince, Michael, Rick James or even Grace Jones...and the hi top fade. Other than the celebrities, it's clear that not only Slate but the rest of mainstream America has no real idea who Black people are, no real clue about our humanity, in general, so of course they would have no real idea what we're doing on Twitter and how we express our culture. For us, Twitter is an electronic medium that allows enough flexibility for uninhibited and unfabricated creativity while exhibiting more of the strengths of social media that allow us to build community.

Sadly, when the mainstream attempts to describe or otherwise represent us and our lives, they choose the #browntwitterbird with the boombox, watermelon (and no Blackberry) in hand, standing next to the bucket of chicken. Yes, mainstream America, that is how you see us and, truthfully, that's a slice of how some of us are (at times). You, however, think it's us in totality, so we laugh at your lack of intelligence and observation skills and continue to 'Make Me a World'. This is why @InnyVinny's Brown Twitter Birds were adopted, in less than 12 hours, as a revolution on Twitter, by throngs of users expressing, adopting and requesting customized birds that reflect our beautiful, Black and multifaceted selves.

Indeed, the best part of the Slate article (outside of the wisdom of quoting @Baratunde Thurston and @ElonJames White) were the revelations that more Black Twitter users than not create a far more balanced, reciprocal relationship to one another, as opposed to the silly, somewhat mindless, stalking behavior of "following" a celebrity and never receiving a response:

Nevertheless, Brendan Meeder thinks he's got a good hypothesis about what's going on. Meeder, a Ph.D. student at Carnegie Mellon University, has downloaded the tweets of more than 100 million users. (Twitter gave him special permission to do so for research purposes.) He's been probing this collection to see how Twitter users interact with one another; he's particularly interested in how trends begin and spread through a social network. While analyzing his database a few months ago, Meeder noticed something strange—he found a cluster of hundreds of users whose profiles were connected to one another. When he looked up the users, he noticed that a lot of them were black. It's in exactly these kinds of tight-knit groups that Twitter memes flourish, Meeder says.

Understandable, right? But it gets better!

Not only are the people who start these trends more tightly clustered on the network, they're also using the network differently. Most people on Twitter have fewer followers than the number of people they're following—that is, they're following celebrities, journalists, news organizations, and other big institutions that aren't following them back. But according to Meeder, the users who initiate blacktags seem to have more reciprocal relationships—they're following everyone who follows them.

For the record, Black people use Twitter hashtags, thanks! But one final piece of wisdom from the only person to do any actual research here (Brendan Meeder):

These patterns suggest that the black people who start these tags "are using Twitter as a social tool," Meeder says. "They're using Twitter like a public instant messenger"—using the service to talk to one another rather than broadcast a message to the world.

Actually, we talk to each other AND we broadcast a message to the world, hence the popularity of the Trending Topics and Twitter usage, yes? Now, if only we were left alone in the real world the way we are on Twitter, perhaps we could effect more change.

It's not until the third to the last paragraph that, authour, Farhad Manjoo chooses to explain, in any intelligent manner the obvious flaw of the entire article:

There is an obvious problem with talking about how black people use Twitter, as many of the black Twitter users I spoke to took pains to point out: Not all black people on the service are participating in these hashtags, and there are probably a great many who are indifferent to or actively dislike the tags.

Okay, so "many of the [B]lack Twitter users" Manjoo spoke to "took pains to point out" how we are not a monolith and, yet, you all over there at Slate (editors and all) still decided to run with the title, "How Black People Use Twitter", eh? Brilliant.

Further, Manjoo wonders (aloud) how and why the trending topics begun by Black people on Twitter are so "successful" without bothering to consider the numbers game. How do I explain that comedian, MarlonWayans, who, with his brothers, captured the attention of the next generation with hilarious films such as "White Chicks" and "Scary Movie", has been a source of some of the sillier hashtags ever since he arrived on Twitter? At present, he has 310,00 followers, quite enough to produce a Trending Topic all by his lonesome, yes? And with masses of Black teenagers following him, it just makes sense, right? I suppose this was too logical an answer...

Thus, if they can't understand something so simple, then they wouldn't understand why, even though we are really (really!!!) appalled by both home invasion and rape, we love the Antoine Dodson story and find he, his sister, Kelli, (and his other family members) so funny.

And if that's the case, they REALLY wouldn't understand why a remix (auto-tune) song was made of his rant, why Antoine has 13 Twitter accounts, a website, is selling T-shirts and has a hotline---all this from the attempted rape of his sister by a roving rapist in their Huntsville, Alabama, Lincoln Park neighborhood. America, gotta love it.

As for what trends, I wonder if we should bother sharing that in addition to the more fun, unpredictable, silly or outrageous Trending Topics, we can also (proudly, thankfully) add the hashtags of #OscarGrant and #AiyanaJones to the list. And would Slate's audience even know who these people are? Probably not, which further exemplifies the segregation of our communities as well as the problem of race in the 21st Century.

Dare I even mention the Black Weblog Awards or would that be going too far and doing too much? Would we overwhelm the populace?

Over this last year, I observed the fascinating manner in which Black people were expressing their culture and building community on Twitter, particularly those of us in the "Hip Hop Generation", which is why I decided to focus upon how we were using the medium to effect change. Thus, I put a panel together for Netroots Nation 2010. As it turns out, not all of my panelists could attend but "Tweeting the Revolution: How Hip Hop Transformed 140 into 360" was, nonetheless, an excellent panel---and videotaped and live streamed just for you!

I felt the need to frame our conversation (because unlike Slate, I KNOW Black people are not a monolith), so I wrote up an introduction (which was a gamble), that proved to be quite fruitful and elicited major response from attendees. And it's funny because I was in my room typing up the last edits and trying to add some of my favorite Tweeters' names and folks who had answered my questions prior to the panel, so I am glad I did the intro. During the run down, comedian and co-panelist, @ElonJames White (This Week in Blackness) tweeted "@drgoddess is giving a State of the Black Twitterverse speech". Hilarity.

I promised to provide it for you in written form---and I shall. Oh yes. I shall. <-----[Melodramatic repetition included for ultimate effect and to inspire shivering due to fright and/or impending doom}

In the meantime, for the mainstream and those trying to figure out Black people on Twitter...

Jesus Be a Brain and a Human Heart.

(Special Thanks to @Punch_VJ @EbonyStarr55 and @Vizionheiry for the links!)