Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Dr. Goddess Gets a Makeover: We've Moved!

Hey Folks,

I've thoroughly enjoyed my time here on Blogger, from the beginning of my years blogging since late 2007 (amazing, really, I had no idea what I was doing!) and now that I am much more clear of what I'm doing and how my blog is my business, I decided to "Become a Believer" in myself again and invest in a new website that fully incorporates my former website and this blog using Wordpress.

Three cheers for change! And you know we believe in change at Team Dr. Goddess!

So, I need you to embrace this change in three ways:

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Thank you, loves, I appreciate you!


Dr. Goddess

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

An Open Letter from Wesley Snipe's Wife on His Tax Case

Folks, if you haven't heard, actor, Wesley Snipes, was ordered to voluntarily turn himself into a prison facility in Pennsylvania on December 9, 2010, to serve a three year term, reportedly on "tax evasion".

Maan, I can't believe this...I may have to turn into a bat and fly away...

I was sent the link to the following open letter from Nikki Snipes, Wesley Snipe's wife, and was so astonished by what I read that I had to pass it on. I don't know what's true or not but I do know that I've never heard even half of these details. Thanks, Journalists! You're doing a GREAT job... *side eye*

Dear Beloved Friends and Families,

Thank you for giving love and support through all these years as our family has been going through this heinous battle. With much support and love from you all, we are gathering ourselves from the shocking decision in the most recent hearing on my husband’s misdemeanor case. My warrior husband is still standing strong, willing to give his all to defend his liberty, something that had never crossed our minds that he would have to fight to keep.

At the moment, he is at home with us and has filed a motion for an extension of his bail in order to move forward on going to the Supreme Court to seek the justice that has not been served.

It’s been 4 years since the indictment literally dropped down on Wesley out of blue when he was filming in Africa and I have been patiently waiting for the truth to unveil and prevail itself, doing whatever necessary for his vindication. Now the misrepresentation and speculations have gone too far as the government moved forward with outrageous, selective prosecution on my husband's misdemeanor conviction.

I now feel that it is necessary to write this letter for the sake of our five wonderful children’s future in this country and most of all, for the sake of my man’s integrity and dignity that has been attacked and destroyed not only by the government but also by the media who’s been spinning and twisting the whole story and misinforming the public

I feel like going around and telling every one of you face to face the truth you never got to hear through the media who has been erroneously reporting all of these shocking series of events to look like a lame tax evasion story from the very beginning.

So please spare me a moment to inform you with the facts and the truth of how it all went down…

More than a decade ago, Wesley was using an accounting service from Kenneth Starr, the founder of Starr & Company. In 1999, he discovered that Starr had forged his signature on a document and his monies had been stolen. He requested that the Manhattan DA in NYC investigate and warned his fellow actor Sylvester Stallone who was Starr’s client at the time as well.

In 2000, after parting ways with Starr, Wesley sought for more honest representation and got introduced to Eddie Khan and his accounting firm that represented more than 4000 clients, including lawyers, doctors, business owners and IRS EMPLOYEES and he was offered to try the service for awhile. But soon after, he also parted ways with Eddie and sought other financial advisors. However, in 2006, the government decided to indict Eddie Khan (the founder of the Florida accounting firm) but picked Wesley out of Eddie’s 4000 clients and made him share the same charges they had put on Eddie as a co-conspirator. Wesley was not even his client at the time but had a history of Eddie filing papers for him just like the other 4000 clients he had filed the papers for.

In 2008, Wesley received a trial followed by the indictment, not in the state of his residency but in Ocala, Florida, a place he had never even been before. Moreover, the given jury pool of 120 people for the trial consisted of mostly non-college graduate, white people except for two (2) African-Americans whom the government rescheduled to come back but conveniently gave them the wrong return date. Therefore, the 12 jurors selected out of that pool were all-white and none of them had a similar background or similar experiences as my husband, unlike what is required by the law. Thus, his attorney filed a motion on this specific issue, but the judge denied it and began the trial in Ocala just as they had planned out. When this incident got out to the press, they made sure that my husband was PLAYING the “race card.”

During the trial, the government announced that Kenneth Starr was to be their key witness and Wesley’s team raised the issue that Starr’s credibility was in serious question due to not only the fact that he had defrauded Wesley (the very reason why he had to seek for other accountants) but also Starr’s previous involvement in Anthony Pelicano’s illegal wiretapping case back in February 2006. At Pelicano’s trial, the government presented audiotape evidence and witness testimony that Kenneth Starr had hired Pelicano to wiretap Stallone after he got sued by Stallone for misappropriation of his funds. HOWEVER, when Wesley’s team raised this issue at the trial due to the fact that it was Wesley who first discovered Starr’s fraudulent activities and requested an investigation disapproving Starr’s credibility, the government LIED and said that Pelicano illegally wiretapped Stallone on his own and HID the fact that Starr had been investigated as co-conspirator. We got to find this out only after Starr finally got arrested for his overbearing crimes after the trial. Starr, as a key witness who has been bitter since Wesley’s discovery of his crimes, sufficiently prevented Wesley from receiving a fair trial.

Through it all, Wesley was found NOT GUILTY on every offensive charge but guilty of three (3) MISDEMEANORS of willful failure to file tax returns during the period of three years when he was going through chaotic financial situations, seeking for the right trustworthy advisor. However, as Judge Hodges decided to make him an example (as he literally said it out loud at the trial), he sentenced Wesley to THREE (3) YEARS of IMPRISONMENT for the misdemeanor conviction, instead of sentencing him to probation or public service for such misdemeanor charges as in many other similar cases.

We realized so clearly at that point that the government was determined to destroy his life, his family, his integrity, his career, and everything he had built and earned in his life. There was no question for us that he should fight to not only defend his liberty but also to vindicate himself.

As he kept his faith and continued seeking for justice, the truth started to prevail.

In May 2010, Kenneth Starr was indicted for a Ponzi scheme in which he stole at least $20 million of his clients’ money, the very thing that Wesley had claimed earlier. Starr’s arrest on such charges ended up exposing his poor credibility just as Wesley’s team had claimed during the trial.

Followed by Starr’s arrest, in July 2010, the 11th Circuit Court rushed an opinion affirming the verdict against Wesley, then the media immediately spread the news even before our attorney found out. We were totally shocked and disappointed again.

However, shortly after the media spread the news, one juror from the trial sent an unsolicited email to Wesley's attorney offering help.

According to the email: There were three (3) jurors in the jury that had presumed Wesley to be guilty even before the trial started without seeing any documents, They had to compromise with those three jurors and ended up finding him guilty of three misdemeanors as result of it,They did not think the judge would give him any jail time for the misdemeanor convictions.

Followed by this email, another juror sent an unsolicited email confirming that most of the jurors believed Wesley would not receive any jail time for the verdict.

Subsequently, my husband’s legal team filed a motion to interview the jurors after receiving the two (2) emails as well as a motion for a new trial based on jury misconduct on the grounds of the three (3) jurors’ apparent perjury with their preconceived notions of the defendant’s guilt.

In October 2010,Starr pled GUILTY to most of the charges.

On November 15, Wesley’s team asked for a new trial at the hearing based on the alleged perjury of the three (3) jurors and perjured testimony of Starr, as well as the prosecutorial misconduct of the government who withheld information about Starr’s previous criminal conduct before Snipes’ trial.However, last week, on November 19, 2010, Judge Hodges issued an order REFUSING to interview any of the jurors, DENYING my husband a new trial and REVOKING his bail as requested by the government. He had simply denied every single one of our requests and with that he denied Wesley’s constitutional rights.

On top of the government’s effort to take my man’s liberty, the media has been assisting by adding more fuel to the already overwhelming fire. Ever since the jury rendered its verdict on February 1, 2008, the media has repeatedly MISREPRESENTED Wesley as having been convicted of tax evasion. He was NEVER charged with or convicted of tax evasion. He was convicted on three (3) misdemeanor charges of failing to file his tax returns in 1999, 2000 and 2001, respectively while dealing with the Kenneth Starr’s issue which has caused him a great deal of damage in his finances and wellas his ability to trust.

At this point, it is more than obvious that the government has been abusing their power to use my husband’s fame and popularity in order to make him an example in a crime he NEVER committed. It is clear that excessive and extreme penalty has been given to him for demonstration purposes. Moreover, the media has been playing a HUGE part in the government’s propaganda to make his case appear as a tax fraud crime scheme.

It is excruciating... to the degree that it is surreal to be wronged in a way that I thought only existed in the movies. And frankly, this is even worse than a movie because the public has heard only one side of the story, which is the side that is far from the truth.

All we had simply asked and have been asking for was to receive a new and fair trial from the very beginning of this unfortunate incident. Surprisingly, my husband’s constitutional right have not been granted but rather violated throughout the whole process. Yet I keep my faith in the belief that there is justice for us to be found somewhere in this country.

Wesley has always been an honorable man, wonderful husband, loving father, and most of all, a man of integrity for as long as I have known him and shared my life with him over a decade. He is NOT a tax–evading criminal who needs to be put away and imprisoned for three years but an artist who simply needs an honest accountant who does not deceive. No words can describe the kind of respect that has grown in my heart for him over the years and is still growing right at this minute, watching and learning about him most up-close and personal. He has never rested but has been putting all of his best efforts and passion towards what he does the best: acting and producing films.

Just as he had confessed at the trial, my husband really is an idealistic, naive, passionate, truth-seeking, spiritually motivated artist who was unschooled and miseducated in the field of finance as I can and would bear witness to and as many of you who really know him would agree as well.

So please continue to pray with and for us until justice is served in his case.

Again, I appreciate your love and support. It is important for us that you have an accurate account of the TRUTHFUL information on what happened and continues to happen to your dear friend and brother Wesley regardless of what has been said and played out in the media, as his integrity and dignity remains with those who care and love him.

Please feel free to share the truth if you happen to come across misinformed people who want to crucify the brother for failing to file the papers just as many citizens in this country fail to file at times for various reasons.

Thank you for taking your time to read my long letter. From the bottom of my heart, I wish all of you and your loved ones a happy and peaceful Thanksgiving weekend.

Lastly, writing this letter was truly healing for my soul and emotions. I thank each one of you for the healing.

May God bless you.

Sincerely with Peace & Love,

Nikki Snipes

Wow. Your thoughts, folks? Is Wesley guilty or not? What's up with the dude who doesn't believe in paying taxes? Why haven't we heard of any of this? What's going on, for real?

Thanks to @Amaditalks for sharing this link. Follow us on Twitter: @drgoddess

Thursday, November 25, 2010

If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale!

If Revolution Were an After Thanksgiving Day Sale

a sign, flashing in fluorescent colors

would declare the revolution


for all the sisters and brothers

And when the doors opened and the red ribbon was cut

we would rush to tear down the walls of the prison industrial complex

and a sign encouraging accountability, self actualization and healing

would declare each freed man and woman as being

"Under New Management!"

If Revolution Were an After Thanksgiving Day Sale

we would push and shove our way to the voting booths

and if the numbers didn't add up, we would snatch up the red tape

tie it around the electoral college's neck and relentlessly demand an accurate count

forcing our way to the truth, justice and righteousness of a fair price

If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale

we would do flying leaps over counter/productive activities

like unprotected sex, alcoholism and drug addiction

If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale

We would run to the checkouts with coupons that would guarantee us

10% off old men hounding teenage girls, 30% off domestic violence

and 50% off child molestation

If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale

brothers and sisters would take mad dashes down the aisles of love

in colorful flowing dresses and white and black adorned suits

making desperate declarations of Black love, Black love, Black love

because we couldn't get enough of one another

and didn't know how to stop ourselves from overindulging

If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale

Black businesses that cared about their communities and

communities that cared about Black businesses

would have two-hour long lines just waiting to get into the store

and Black investors would teach us how to layaway our money

and pay ourselves first so that each month

there would be an increase in savings

and a decrease in conspicuous consumption

If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale
Real policemen would do overtime directing drug traffic

out of my community

and wouldn't take get out of jail free cards

If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale

we would see each other out and about more often

except it would be at community meetings and Saturday schools

and classic soul concerts

and food co-ops with harvest goods provided by Black farmers

If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale

we wouldn't be in an organization that would just debate and debate and debate

one idea after another finding fault.

We would immediately run and try things on, just grab it and go

and if one plan didn't work, then we would simply return it or exchange it for something new

all the while learning from our experiences to keep on searching for that perfect fit!

If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale
If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale
If Revolution Were an After-Thanksgiving Day Sale 


revolution is just revolution
and change never comes that easy
revolutions may be televised
but never celebrated in advance
and flyers advertising social change don't fill our mailboxes
with declarations abolishing the sale of our souls

because revolution is just revolution
and no matter if I watch or participate
either way I still feel like
one jive turkey

© November 28, 2003 Dr. Goddess / Kimberly C. Ellis, Ph.D.*

"It ain't cool bein' no jive turkey so close to Thanksgivin'... YEAH!"

All Rights Reserved You may forward, share, repost

Professional Publishers please do not publish this poem without the EXPLICIT PERMISSION of the author. Email: drgoddess(at)drgoddess(dot)com

You may see this poem performed in all of its hilarity (including the red, black and green shopping bags rushing in at the start of this trailer LIVE when Dr. Goddess!: A One Woman Show goes back on tour Spring 2011):

*"If Revolution..." was inspired by a poem written by the fabulous Tyehimba Jess entitled, "When Niggas Love Revolution Like They Love the Bulls" (1992). Thank you, Tyehimba!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Look Who's Coming to Pittsburgh!

Sorry folks! Lizz Winstead's Show has been canceled for now and all refunds have been processed. Not to worry, she'll be back, Pittsburgh! Keep up with Lizz on her Website and on Twitter!

Thank ya kindly! *curtsy*

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Are You for Fannie Lou?: The Campaign for Her Statue

One of my besties is from Jackson, Mississippi. I met her in college; and despite our immediate bond, when she invited me to her home in the "Deep South", I was entirely horrified. Me, with my New York City entree into the world and my still Northern, Pittsburgh upbringing, having viewed the film, "Mississippi Burning" in the not-so-distant past? Let's just say the invitation gave me pause.

However, I love to travel so, instead of saying "No, Thanks" to her Thanksgiving invitation, I just sunk lower and lower in the backseat of the car as we sped our way into the state that would forever change my life. I expected that we would be pulled over and slaughtered on the roadside, just like so many of the persons I had read about, not just Goodman, Schwerner and Chaney but that which the nameless, faceless of history, had experienced. I didn't verbalize these fears, as I thought it might be rude, not that my honesty would be met with any level of compassion. Indeed, the tighter I held onto my pillow and peeked over the dashboard onto the highway, the more uproariously my car mates (and so called friends) would point at me and laugh.


It's the state we all come to learn how to spell. It's also the state Nina Simone damned to hell.

But I've come to love Mississippi because, over time, I have learned more about its history and how African Americans organized and inspired more Americans to fight for human rights and, subsequently, changed the world. The WORLD. Now, although we have won some battles, the war is not over. Today, Mississippi has the most African Americans in elected office; but it's the poorest state in America.

We have only just begun to thoroughly (and critically) engage and understand the Civil Rights and Black Power Movements in America. It's amazing to think that, as recently as 1960, African Americans were still sharecropping and living in stunning poverty in the South---the worst of which was in Mississippi.

So, imagine, a woman such as Fannie Lou Hamer, a resident of Ruleville, MS, being approached by a young organizer from the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee (SNCC), and asked to come to a meeting on Voter Registration, whereupon she was so overwhelmed with and enamored by the possibility of being free from oppression that she was willing to sacrifice everything (including her home, employment and family as a sharecropper on the plantation) to do so?

"We didn't fight this hard for you to stay home and not vote in November!"
And imagine, that after having walked off of the only livelihood she knew, she became a community organizer, singing church songs such as "This Little Light of Mine" (her favorite) and not only inspiring more persons to take charge of their lives by voting and being engaged in the political process; but also becoming one of the leading spokespersons and representatives of her people?! Amazing.

Lawd knows my feet hurt but I ain't no ways tired...gotta represent for the people!
These days, many of us take voting, Black political representation and, certainly, Black women's roles in political power, for granted. But if it weren't for supreme organizer, Ella Baker encouraging young people to create their own organization (since they didn't want to be the youth wing of the SCLC, ahem) and the young people creating the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) for themselves; and their decision to focus on voter registration (and obtaining the power to exert control over their lives); and Fannie Lou Hamer going to that meeting and not only joining SNCC but becoming one of its most passionate figureheads and organizers; and SNCC helping to form the Mississippi Freedom Democratic Party (MFDP) to further influence the Democratic Party at the National Convention in 1964 (just like the Tea Party is doing within the Republican Party in 2010, ahem); and the racist, Dixiecrats so determined to maintain the system of white supremacy that they left the Democratic Party and joined the Republican Party, thereby focusing on a "Southern Strategy" to get disaffected, angry white men to join in on the backlash against the Civil Rights Movement (and subsequent Women's Rights Movement), championed by the likes of Ronald Reagan (whose harsh policies helped give birth to Hip Hop) and George Bush, Sr. and George Bush, Jr. (who practically destroyed the country), causing a tidal wave of young, disenfranchised Americans fed up with racism, classism and sexism and birthed on Hip Hop to the point where they wanted to get out and vote---there would be no President Barack Obama.

President Barack and First Lady Michelle Obama
And that was a stream-of-consciousness, historical rant. Oh yes, President Barack Obama owes much to a poor, Black woman in Mississippi named Fannie Lou Hamer. There's a bit of irony here, since he also owes much to a woman who grew up as a poor, Black girl in Mississippi, named Oprah Winfrey. But, for now, let's give it up for the OGs, Pap and Fannie!

Sharecroppers and Citizens, Perry "Pap" and Fannie Lou Hamer

"And you know, I'm not hung up on this thing about liberating myself from the black man, I'm not going to try that thing.  I got a black husband, six feet three, two hundred and forty pounds, with a 14 shoe, that I don't want to be liberated from.  But we are here to work side by side with this black man in trying to bring liberation to all people."
I know that's right, Mrs. Hamer! Speak on it!

Notice that she didn't say she was trying to work behind her husband either, so get it right, Fellas! And get it right, feminists and Africana Womanists! You see, this is what an organization built upon participatory democracy can do. It is one that allows space for women and everyday citizenry to speak for themselves. According to Historian and Civil Rights expert, Dr. Tiyi Morris of Ohio State University:
SNCC offered the centrality of grassroots activism on behalf of regular citizens and stressed "letting the people decide"...this is the foundation upon which Barack Obama worked as a community organizer and the philosophical tenets of his campaign.
Brilliant, Dr. Morris, especially when I think about the manner in which these central tenets were combined with top-notch technology and social media to tilt the world on its axis. The election of Barack Obama was not the change, in and of itself, but (as he has said many, many times), "the opportunity to make a change." I believe that because my consistent mantra has been that Barack Obama is the Activist's President. You bring him the pain to his door and his administration will open it. Make him do what you want like Fannie Lou Hamer, SNCC, the MFDP and those young activists made LBJ sign the Civil Rights Act and change American and World History, forever.

When Fannie Lou Hamer spoke truth to power in Atlantic City at the 1964 Democratic National Convention, she told harsh truths about being Black in America that were a far cry from a young Senator from Illinois being invited to take center stage in 2004. But one could not and does not exist without the other.

You see how this picture shows her all heroic and fierce and telling her oppressors off as she gives her testimony?

Testifying before the Credentials Committee and televised before the world.
 We do love that... but look closer now... do you see those tears in her eyes?:

(an "emergency broadcast" interrupted Mrs. Hamer's speech on television) Emergency, indeed...
THAT was Fannie Lou, too.

I do not know her kind of pain---and I am so thankful. But since she fought for me, I figure I can fight for her, you know? Listen to her give her narrative and read the transcript and a bio here.

This is also why I support Melissa Harris-Lacewell (now Perry), in this interview with Democracy Now's Amy Goodman, as she insists that President Obama acknowledge and address the role of Black women's political activism---the legacy upon which he stands:

(as an aside, doesn't MHP look just like the woman on the old book cover of For Colored Girls...?)

Today, in Ruleville, Mississippi (where Fannie Lou Hamer broke the rules of oppression), sits a beautiful Memorial Garden created on the "Freedom Farm" Mrs. Hamer purchased to further assist poor, Black people in becoming self-sufficient and having a place to grow their food, despite leaving (or getting kicked off) the plantations upon which they were sharecropping---just as she had experienced.

When I first traveled to Ruleville with The Fannie Lou Hamer National Institute on Citizenship and Democracy at Jackson State University and sat at Fannie Lou Hamer's grave, I simply had not ever heard of "Freedom Farm" and found myself astonished, ashamed and angry about that which I did not know. Mind you, this was after college and after graduate school---and African American History is one of my specialties. #FAIL

I'm feeling mighty unworthy and, yet, grateful...

Thus, when I visited again this year, I learned that the National Fannie Lou Hamer Statue Fund Committee (organized by Patricia Thompson of ROAR) had been collecting money to erect a statue of Ms. Hamer right there at the Memorial Gardens. They needed approximately $125,000 and, as usual, it was a small, committed group of veterans of the Civil Rights Movement and their friends who had done all of the leg work and had launched the campaign. When Patricia Thompson first encountered Fannie Lou Hamer's grave, the grass was up to her knees and she cried in the middle of the field, vowing to make things right. It reminded me of Alice Walker's search for Zora Neale Hurston's grave and what she found. So, Ms. Thompson and others got to work. They chopped down the grass, then they took Freedom Farm from this:

To this, the Fannie Lou Hamer Memorial Garden:

The Fannie Lou Hamer Memorial Garden, Ruleville, MS

Go ahead and give them a standing ovation right now! In your living room, office, at your desk, give them a hand! Now, somebody please tell me why we cannot meet this goal post-stat?! I mean, it's sort of embarrassing, isn't it? There are many more pictures and much more information on the website. Please check it out!

But I am 'sick and tired' of us not properly honoring the persons who sacrificed so much for us---as Black people, as Americans, as women, as Democrats, as elected officials, as human beings who stand up for our principles and each other's rights.... Fannie Lou Hamer was thrown in jail and beaten severely for her activism. Later, she would die (and way too early, she never made it to 60 years old) as a result of heart disease, diabetes, living a hard life on the plantation and, yes, the beatings she suffered in jail.

But she couldn't do a whole lot of crying in public. She had things to do and young people to continue to inspire, which is why this intergenerational picture means so much to me:

Yes, that's Stokely Carmichael aka Kwame Ture in the back and Ella Baker on the far right.
It is because of her activism that I could write a comedy about going to jail but I also did so because as much as folks love Tyler Perry's "Madea Goes to Jail", it is largely without the socio-political commentary that I tend to like in my art, even though "For Colored Girls" may provide it. Nevertheless, I decided to flip the script---literally...
In "Dr. Goddess Goes to Jail: A Spoken Word, Musical Comedy (Unfortunately) Based on a True Story", I chose to create an intergenerational celebration of the Civil Rights Movement. And, although this came pretty natural for me (after years of unlearning & reconditioning), it is also a Feminist/Womanifesto, which stars "four little girls". And, in my own brand of satiric irony, the hit song in this production about activism and commitment is "Neutrality", a song that revels in fence-riding, apathy and immobility, in which I sing:
But what about Rosa? What about Rosa? / What about Rosa, Ella Baker and Fannie Lou?
If I were any one of those women, / What would you say? What would you tell me to do?
What about them, folks? Can we put our hands together and get this Fannie Lou Hamer Statue up?

Let a Sista know. . . Are YOU for Fannie Lou?

And if you want to get uber-supportive, write anything that inspired you about Fannie Lou (or just share the link to this blog); and put this picture and this code up on your blog:

It won't take long to raise the money. We want everyone to have BUY-IN, so your small donation is actually preferred ($10 - $100 is perfect!)

We're also using Chip In to keep track of our progress and donations!:

Chip In uses PAYPAL and you can PRINT a RECEIPT!

These persons have ALREADY raised $20,000, so chip in!
Anything over the amount goes to the Education Fund & Maintenance of the Memorial Garden.

And I thanks ya kindly in the Hamerly way!

U.S. Highway 49, Ruleville, Mississippi
We'd also like to further show the City of Ruleville, MS (a population of approximately 3,000 persons with a median income of $23,036), that the National Fannie Lou Hamer Statue Fund has a lot of supporters who intend to see Fannie Lou Hamer get her propers. So, stay tuned!

Euvester Simpson is pictured on the cover. Dr. Tiyi Morris is her daughter.
By the way, the bestie who invited me to her hometown and laughed at me, mercilessly, on the ride there? Well, she did pull over on the way back and allowed me to pick some cotton up off the side of the road. And, as it turns out, her mother, Euvester Simpson, was just a young, woman, Civil Rights worker when she shared a jail cell with Fannie Lou Hamer, the same day she was brutally beaten. I had no idea, when I decided to visit Mississippi during Thanksgiving Break, that my life would never be the same because of the women and men who paved the road for me to arrive.

Are You for Fannie Lou? Well, Me Too!

Support us on our Facebook Page, Facebook Group and Follow us Twitter!
@FannieLouHamer @HamerStatueFund @FannieLouWho 
Use the hashtag #fannielou

Special Thanks to: Patricia Thompson, Repaying Our Ancestors Respectfully (ROAR), the National Fannie Lou Hamer Statue Fund Committee and the National Black United Fund (NBUF) for serving as our fiscal sponsor!

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Personal is Political: No Wedding, No Womb Pt. II

I'm a fan of Ashley Judd and Marisa Tomei (who got her start as "Maggie" on "A Different World"), so naturally, at some point in 2001, I didn't turn the channel when a movie entitled, "Someone Like You" aired, since they appeared on screen. Unless they're of the Jerry McGuire or Bridget Jones variety, I try not to consume hoards of romantic comedies centered on white people. And you know why, including all the intelligent white folks reading... I'm trying to maintain a high level of self-esteem, a somewhat healthy body image and the hope that Mr. Right will show up with a Malcolm X fedora, a Morpheus trench and set of shades and wearing flip flops like "Black Jesus". We shall see...

In any event, "Someone Like You" is, well, this review is so doggone good and gets right to the point, so let's just read it aloud together:
Consider Someone Like You, in which heroine Jane Goodale (Ashley Judd) is summarily dumped just before embarking on a live-in relationship. This so devastates her that she begins compulsively poring over psychological, anthropological, and philosophical tomes, all in an effort to make sense of the inconstant way the male animal conducts himself. Eventually she alights on a possible explanation in the natural world -- the reluctance among bulls to mate with a given cow more than once -- and less-than-scientifically projects this characteristic across great swaths of the mammalian kingdom to conclude that unfaithfulness is inherent to the male gender, regardless of its species.
Her research for this theory, which she dubs the "New Cow" theory, takes for experimental subjects not only Ray (Greg Kinnear), the aforementioned ex-lover, but also Eddie (Hugh Jackman), a womanizing coworker with whom she must move in after her falling out with Ray leaves her homeless. As Eddie brings home one sex partner after another, Jane psychoanalyzes him relentlessly -- culling information for a monthly column she eventually begins writing for a men's magazine, yes, but also trying, by proxy, to distill Ray's actions into an abstract principle. This will let her turn her recent breakup into an inevitable act of nature and she can thereby avoid the unthinkable alternative, the possibility that something in her identity leaves her singularly susceptible to rejection: "If this theory's wrong," she wails to Eddie later in the movie, "men don't leave all women -- they leave me."
The "New Cow" theory was bunk and, ladies and gentlemen, such is the case for the "No Wedding, No Womb" campaign. By the way, if you're thinking of any words that begin with the letter "H" right now, I'm judging you---and me.

As I explained in Part I: Sloganeering and Slacktivism: The No Wedding, No Womb Campaign, organizer, Christelyn Karazin, was so ashamed of her symbol of unprotected, premarital sex---pregnancy---that she bought a cubic zirconia ring and wore it on her wedding finger to protect herself from the ridicule and judgment of strangers. I guess she didn't like it, so she put a ring on it.

Is that a ring you're wearing? Look, Bish, don't judge me!

But without a general understanding of Women’s History and previous attempts at policing women’s expression, in general, and their sexuality, in particular, delineations and reformations of the Victorian-era-derived “Cult of True Womanhood” will continue, in spite of itself. This is why the dichotomy continues and why, even in Black Christian churches, various choirs (hilariously) reformulated Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” and turned it into some type of spiritual hymn (or Deacon remix), curiously wagging the finger (like Mother Wisdom) at single women in the congregation.

What? Y'all think I waited? I'm way too flexible for alla that!
And, yet, if my understanding of the song, “Yes” on the “Dangerously in Love” album is correct, one could easily conclude that Beyonce had sex before and during her premarital relationship with Jay-Z. Perhaps if she spoke more about their (obviously) effective use of birth control, as opposed to pretending as though “Sasha Fierce” only gets down on the dance floor, then “Single Ladies” might be understood in its proper context. But we can’t blame Beyonce’ for other peoples’ misinterpretations of her lyricism and imagery or how she manipulates the confining dichotomy she didn't create. That's probably why this Saturday Night Live skit with Justin Timberlake always leaves me in stitches. But I digress...

Uh uh Oh, oh oh oh oh oh ohhhhh...

I find myself usually alarmed (and then quickly annoyed) whenever I see attempts at moral suasion without any substantive, socio-political analysis or inclusion of social justice or any form of direct action. For example, listing the many statistics which showcase the results of “single parent” and/or “fatherless households” relative to education, crime, poverty, etc., is important but short-sighted, especially when the focus is placed upon people of color---and No Wedding, No Womb, is nothing if not focused upon African American women who have the highest rates of female-headed households in the country.

This is What an Effective Campaign Looks Like *side eyes* NWNW

We all have concern for our families and children in America. But to deny or otherwise diminish the role of the system of white supremacy, the impact of structural inequality, poverty, discrimination against the working poor and to exclude any direct action (or even moral suasion!) against the injustices of ongoing segregation, disinvestment from public education, the school-to-prison pipeline and the prison industrial complex upon people of color, in particular, is wholly irresponsible and ultimately, as Christelyn, participants in “No Wedding, No Womb” and many others have seen, ineffective and irrelevant to the daily realities of our lives---despite seemingly good intentions.

Why would I talk about the system of white supremacy, structural inequality and the relationship between that and the condition of Black families? Because in 1960, many of our families were in tact, not only as nuclear families but extended as well (yes, the African village some wish to deny exists). But something else happened in 1960 and it was the dramatic, climatic rise of an extraordinarily successful campaign that would further ignite the Civil Rights Movement. I'm going to get to that in my next post.

Y'all see all this hate? Whatev, I'm not turning back the clock! I'm not your Auntie!
Suffice it to say, the Conservative backlash to the Civil Rights Movement's successful display that separate was NOT equal, was intended to make Americans think that the reason why equality (measured in equal results) isn't necessary is because there is something inherently wrong with Black people and Black culture. Thus, if the country is "separate", it's because Black people separate themselves from real, hardworking Americans who value education and family.

It's a white supremacist idea, rooted in economic competition, disguised as a "New Cow" theory. And too many people have fallen for it, including too many persons in the Black Church. Mind you, George Bush's Faith-Based Initiative checks helped, didn't they, Eddie?

"You like my cologne? The secret ingredient is holy water. Praise Him!"

Another such person who seems to be entirely ignorant or in deep denial of what's happening here is Christelyn Karazin. But she has many in the Black blogosphere who unconsciously, unknowingly and unfortunately harbor and perpetuate these notions as well. Quite often, they appear as a brigade of intelligent Black women (and they are) whose painful life experiences with Black men and their clear inability to understand or counter the system of white supremacy has led to the "Black men ain't sh*t" messaging of internalized racism. In some ways, they beckon my compassion, as we have all been hurt, but like Ashley Judd's character realized in "Someone Like You", the "New Cow" theory is not the solution to our problems; and neither is internalized oppression. Instead of theories, take a look at the facts from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention on parenting, especially non-marital parents (thanks, @saigrundy).

We don’t need a professional, Black, Bristol Palin who feels the need to prescribe an abstinence to which she didn’t subscribe. The fact of the matter is, had Sarah and (ex-patriate promoting) Todd Palin been pragmatic about their daughter’s curiosity and engaged in full sex education and birth control (even with an emphasis on abstinence) as opposed to turning a blind eye to the realities of a teenage life in America while preaching abstinence-only, then we would not have to suffer through seeing her on “Dancing With the Stars” or Levi Johnston’s pitiful run for Mayor or his interview with Lawrence O’Donnell but no, they didn’t spare us, so I won’t spare them.

"Hmmm, how can I get out of this and still shame other women to please my Mom?"
And as much as I might like to, I can’t spare Christelyn; because when she appeared on Michael Dyson’s radio program, she would not even own up to her own campaign. Despite being the organizer, she insists she’s not the leader. Despite focusing upon African American women in her own narrative, she denies that the focus on fatherlessness leans disproportionately towards Black men. And she insists that despite having intense shame about being a single parent, “No Wedding, No Womb” has nothing to do with shaming single mothers today. She even went so far to (hilariously) suggest that she doesn't even really mean "wedding", per se, but to simply be "wedded" to the children. Oh Christelyn... please immediately head over to the stellar Co-Parenting 101 Website and free yourself.

On the NWNW FAQ page (which she tweeted to me), in answering the question, “What gives you the right to do this?”, she responded: I’m a baby mamma’ LISTEN TO MY MISSION: [which was a plug to the theme song] I do this for my daughter, and my daughter’s daughter, and all the children of our future.” I find this more than interesting because a “baby mamma” is actually a woman who has a child and is not married. According to Christelyn, she found a man who happens to be white, they fell in love and he accepted her and her child as a package deal. So, technically speaking, she is NOT a “baby mamma”. But what would make her say such a thing? Being plagued by having been one…

I should note that almost 24 hours after having written a large portion of this post, I asked Christelyn a few questions on Twitter and she never responded. I was extremely respectful to her (see below). My questions were:

Start from the bottom and scroll up. That's how Twitter works.
And she blocked me. I learned shortly thereafter that she had blocked many others who questioned or disagreed with her point of view in any way, shape or form. Way to go Christelyn, excellent campaign strategies you have there…

There is just too much that doesn’t add up and there are tons of other ways to support children, create a more egalitarian society and provide holistic education about safe sex, the realities of parenting and available options for birth control (including abstinence), that can and will continue despite a campaign that cannot sustain the shame upon which it is founded.

I'm amazed at this album cover. It's brilliant!
I love Salt N Pepa's fun, sexy and outspoken feminist imagery, so when “Let’s Talk About Sex” and “Do You Want Me?” debuted on their “Black’s Magic” album, released December 8, 1992, it was perfect for my burgeoning sexuality and, apparently, many others’. “Let’s Talk About Sex” became the anthem for a number of different campaigns more than happy to have a theme song that would allow parents and guardians to more comfortably enter into conversations about sex and reproduction with their children. After all, we couldn’t rely on Grease’s “Reproduction” and the characteristic bass line, “I’ve got your pistol right here” forever.

Let’s talk about sex, baby
Let’s talk about you and me
Let’s talk about all the good things
And the bad things that can be
Let’s talk about sex
Let’s talk about sex!

Notice how we have a great song which invites open conversation and learning without shaming or placing a heavier emphasis upon the female body? You had no idea Salt-N-Pepa were this deep, hunh? On this same album, “Do You Want Me?” provided an anthem that helped me decipher man-speak and manipulation and gave me a phat beat with which to jam as well:

You said it loud / and I heard ya
Never tried to hurt you
Some say I’m old fashioned
I like to take my time and do it slow, you know?
But don’t try to rush it
So, ride it like a horse / and let nature take its course
Get to know each other
Be my friend, no just my lover
Share your thoughts with me
Love my mind, not just my body, baby!

Do you really want me, baby?
Let me know
Cuz if you really want me, I suggest you tell me so
Got no time for playing games, that ain’t even why I came
Cuz I may be / the kinda guy you like

Those lyrics became an anthem. I was not ashamed to say I was old fashioned and I loved how the question was posed to the man, asking "Do You Really Want Me, Baby?" while rejoicing in the phat beat that could make our booties shake but did not require us to give them up.

“No Wedding, No Womb” does actually have a nice theme song (which is why they call this a multimedia campaign) to which I promptly did the snake and began gyrating my pelvis:

So maybe, like other artists, this campaign should stick moreso to its singing than anything else.
We must be ever vigilant so that we do not end up evaluating each other using a standard of measurement created by white supremacist thinking - bell hooks
Jesus Be Solange’s Womb Producing Julez.

Special Shoutout to Saida Grundy @saigrundy for her excellent timeline, @alvinthethird for the bell hooks quote and Twitter's continued elucidation on #NWNW

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Sloganeering and Slacktivism: The No Wedding, No Womb Campaign

The multimedia campaign, “No Wedding, No Womb” debuted on my brother’s birthday (Hey Paul!) and while I was in D.C. feeling bad that I had not properly prepared to send my brother a card to make sure it arrived on his actual birthday (My bad, Paul!), a girlfriend asked me if I had heard of the “Movement” and if I knew one of the bloggers participating. I knew nothing of the campaign but I admit the title, alone, made me chuckle.

I started seeing murmurings and the uproar about “No Wedding, No Womb" (NWNW) on Twitter and still did not understand because I did not make the time to do so. I was still reeling from having attended Ron Walter’s funeral, as well as participating as a poet in the Furious Flower Poetry Center’s Tribute to Lucille Clifton, after responding to an invitation from Nikki Giovanni and Dr. Joanne Gabbin.

I really cannot speak for Lucille Clifton but I imagine she would get a chuckle out of “No Wedding, No Womb”, even as she would deride the male or female too irresponsible to properly care for and/or raise his/her own children.

Thus, it was perfect timing for me to see a tweet come across my timeline advertising the discussion of “No Wedding, No Womb” on Michael Eric Dyson’s radio program. The radio interview included Christelyn Karazin, the organizer, and Jamilah Lemieux, who blogs and tweets as "SisterToldja". The exchange was quite telling and I’m glad I waited to hear the information directly from the source because it became clear that Christelyn was confused and generally lacking in self-awareness regarding her own campaign and the motivations therein.

There is a disturbing undercurrent of “No Wedding, No Womb” and Karazin's narrative that self-consciously promotes (and then denies) interracial marriage as a solution to the problem of fatherlessness in the Black community. And, yet, consistently, I have found that Black women who champion interracial marriage (and, let’s face it, it’s largely with White men) turn a near complete and total blind eye to the many White men who leave White women with children out-of-wedlock, who leave their White wives struggling and suffering with children; and who otherwise use or abuse any woman of any ethnicity, from trying to take her money unjustly in a divorce (ask Whoopi Goldberg about that) to conveniently “discovering” their homosexuality post-marriage and family (ask Jim McGreevy’s ex-wife about that) to cheating on them after decades of support and the birth of five children with women from another continent (ask Mark Sanford’s ex-wife about that) and to great extremes such as killing them to prevent paying child support or revealing an ongoing affair (unfortunately, we cannot ask Laci Peterson about that, now can we?). Indeed, the romanticizing of relationships with White men is unrealistic, categorically racist and out-of-control.

Yep. I had four boys and a loving white wife and I still bounced! Hey Sistas!
Whether anyone will admit it or not, “No Wedding, No Womb” implicitly smacks of a consistent theme I have discovered in the Black blogosphere, in particular, which is essentially, “Black men ain’t sh*t”. And, you know, that really does not help anybody.

As she shared in her interview with Dr. Dyson, Christelyn mistakenly believes that her own motives and engagement in an interracial marriage should be excluded from analysis or consideration when discussing, evaluating or critiquing “No Wedding, No Womb”. No way. This campaign is one borne of an intensely personal situation (which she revealed), in that she was a middle-class African American woman in college who, through her own volition chose to:

1. Engage in sex
 2. Engage in unprotected sex
3. Engage in a full-term pregnancy --- all of which she did with an African American male who, for reasons unbeknownst to us, chose to engage in unprotected sex and then failed to live up to his responsibilities as a result of making those choices.

Christelyn admits that she was so ashamed of being a single, pregnant woman that she purchased a fake wedding ring and wore it to fend off negativity and criticism from strangers. Of course, that type of effrontery does not work on one’s own friends and family, so at some point, she had to face their judgments alone.

“No Wedding, No Womb” seems to be a full projection of what Christelyn must have feared and, later, endured from her friends and family who had much higher expectations and judgment than Christelyn had of herself at some point in time. Sadly, I can relate, Sistergirl, so I do not stand in judgment of your personal turmoil at that time.

I think I understand where you’re coming from. It appears as though the underlying message to “No Wedding, No Womb” is “Value yourself more to protect yourself at all times and enter into a committed relationship with someone who is committed to you and your eventual offspring”. I get that. I dig that. I support that.

Sadly, a public media campaign entitled, “No Wedding, No Womb” does not do that.

Even Christelyn may admit that she has spent more time than she thought necessary trying to defend and explain “No Wedding, No Womb”, when that is not the sign of a successful campaign. The message should be clear. It should be pointed and it should be understandable and easy to defend. Instead, Christelyn (and some of her supporters) are all over the place with vague, contradictory and sometimes offensive retorts and explanations.

Hey, Baby, pass the hot sauce, please? I'm glad I don't have to explain why...
"No Wedding, No Womb" is not new; and yet I have repeatedly heard Christelyn say that no one is addressing this issue, "no one cares about the kids". Not only is this idea not new, it’s so old, it’s cliché. Even "Black Marriage Day", founded by Nisa Islam Muhammad, is in its eighth year of successful operation with actual solutions, community-building and hands-on results. And, as you can read here, even the federal government has an "African American Healthy Marriage Initiative" while yet another wayward campaign entitled "Marry Your Baby Daddy Day" continues as well. At least "Black Marriage Day" is clear, concise, is not policing sexuality, is inclusive of and empowering for men and does not target the female body.

One cannot help but notice that in all of the aforementioned campaigns, Christelyn's interracial marriage does not apply. Hmmm. Even more, perhaps what inspired “No Wedding, No Womb” was Beyonce’s mega hit, “Single Ladies”, (an anthem which focuses upon a woman's narrative) in which she sings to her jilted ex-lover trying to block on the dance floor:  
If you liked it, then you should’ve put on a ring on it! 
That, coupled with a video based on Bob Fosse’s choreography, heavily showcasing Beyonce’’s gyrations in her now infamous onesie (otherwise known as a leotard in the dance world) as well as her Michael and Janet Jackson-esque flaunting of a single-handed glove and the aggressively strategic point to the absence of a ring on the ring-finger seems to have been the ticket for Christelyn. Perhaps...

Beyonce’ is a perfect example of the Madonna / Whore dichotomous trap in which women have been wrestling, largely stemming from a Westernized construction of Christianity that seeks to overcome human urges while also chastising (and in some cases, flogging) the self for its seeming inability to control them. Hence, the Victorian era focus upon women being chaste, obedient, submissive and domestic, after a period of wanton displays of sexuality and promiscuity. More often than not, the attempt to control a woman’s sexuality is most often aligned with and maintained by efforts at colonization and nationalism. It has very little to do with morality and much more to do with conquering nations and preventing babies mixed with the blood of “the enemy” (however so defined, given the historic period). Indeed, that's why Victoria had a "secret".

"No Wedding, No Womb" also belies a collective “mothering” and “fathering” tradition in many communities but the African (American) community, in particular, that does not rely on biological parentage. I even saw one blogger laugh at the concept of "It takes an entire village to raise one child", claiming the African American community had abandoned the idea. She apparently had no idea that's why we're still here.

But it’s not my job to try to sort out the campaign. I believe in women valuing their bodies. Indeed, I believe women are goddesses; but “No Wedding, No Womb” is a race game, a shame game and a publicity stunt that should be understood within its proper context.

Many other bloggers on the site make perfect sense, are clear, direct and substantive. But they did not come up with the campaign so it's the equivalent of serving a gourmet dish on a garbage can.

There is no direct action to "No Wedding, No Womb." There is no contextual call for justice or any real attempt at providing solutions beyond a grandiose wagging of a blog & song finger. And this is why Christelyn and far too many of her supporters have have spent more time defending and blocking people online than actually finding peace in this process.

Stay tuned for Part II.

Special shout to the Twitter family going in on the hashtag: #NWNW

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A Prayer for Discernment: Eddie Long Deserves Grace

According to Sam Reynold's, an astrologer and one of my great Twitter buddies, Eddie Long is experiencing his "Saturn Return". I asked Sam what that meant and if it was along the lines of "what goes around comes around?" and he said "Yes."

Naturally, this led me to the film, "Boomerang", in which Eddie Murphy plays "Marcus", a consummate ladies' man who thinks he's above reproach until "Jacqueline", a character played by Robin Givens, puts it on him and flips the gendered script (i.e. engaging in powerful, skilled, sexual encounters detached from a particular type of needy emotionalism often characteristically depicted of women).

One of the most hilarious scenes in what is now a cult classic is that between actors Eddie Murphy and Grace Jones, who plays "Strange`", an outrageously exotic, outspoken and wholly inappropriate artist, let alone spokesperson for a corporate product of any sort. In this interaction, however, her interests are far more personal.

Here, she is a sexual predator (which brings us to "Bishop" Eddie Long) and a keen observer of human behavior with a strong radar for homosexuals, a skill possession known as possessiong "gaydar" (which brings us to the New Birth congregation). By all means, observe the scene and do pardon the vulgarity:

You see the way she was able to stand up and point out the gay men---and without being homophobic (indeed, she knows because her brother is gay)? This is the sharp level of discernment I pray for the congregation of New Birth to possess---and swiftly.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, "But Dr. Goddess, that was a comedy". Oh, I agree. But so is Eddie Long's lacefront jheri curl wig and so were last Sunday's two services at New Birth. Like all great theater, there was great comedy and tragedy to be had (hence the two masks which most often symbolize the substance of great theater).

I do theater. I'm a playwright, I teach African American Theater and I grew up on one of the best playwrights this world has yet witnessed---August Wilson. So, let's do this.

The comedy began with my sheer excitement to attend church at 8:00a.m. on a Sunday morning. I was going to ask, "Who does that?" but Eddie Long made it clear they do it every Sunday at New Birth. Alrighty then, Praise the Lawd and Pass the Collection Plate for Legal Fees!

Why do I think Eddie Long is guilty of being a sexual predator and engaging in sexual coercion?

Yes, this is a lace-front, jheri curl wig I'm wearing and you still believe! Praise Him!

Perhaps it's the observations I made during my girlhood, while walking home in my Catholic school uniform with girls whom, like me, had conclave chest and bore no resemblance to Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time" video, while older men would gaze upon us and catcall something akin to "Pigmeat"(and other such names recounted in Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye).

Or, perhaps it's because I have watched every episode of "To Catch a Predator," hosted by Chris Hansen, and witnessed everyone from school teachers to Jewish rabbi's seeking out young men and women to prey upon online, even after they discover that their sexual interests are underage (usually 12 - 14 years old).

Or perhaps it's the Senator Larry E. Craigs or the Ted Haggards of the world, who vociferously denounce and engage in heavy activism against homosexuality, in particular, only to be revealed as closeted homosexuals shortly thereafter.

Or perhaps its the Jim McGreevys of the world (former Governor of New Jersey), who know good and well they have homosexual urges and tendencies but via their narcissism and self-hate, think it's okay to marry a heterosexual woman to be their beard, so they can either obtain or maintain a particular lifestyle better suited to their sense of entitlement and exploitation.

Or perhaps its the Jonathan Plummers of the world, who marry rich, famous, heterosexual Black women like Terry McMillan, as a way to "get rich or die tryin'" in America. I'm glad McMillan is "Getting to Happy" but she could have used some of Grace Jones' discernment as well. I believe Jonathan was gay while he was still living as a young resort employee in Jamaica. And I believe this is precisely why he was so incredibly attentive and loving to his wife. But as she said to Oprah Winfrey upon appearing on her show five years after 'the confrontation' with Plummer, "love is blind," so... I'm not judging, just praying...

And speaking of Oprah Winfrey, perhaps I think Eddie Long is guilty because as recent as February 5 and April 26, 2010, Oprah showcased child sexual predators talking to adults about how they seduce children, explored common traits of sexual predators and discussed why adults should pay closer attention to child and adolescent behavior. Did we somehow think that because, in this particular episode, Oprah showcased white men, that we don't have child sexual predators in the Black community? Or perhaps we found it more comfortable to rest on our laurels while the Catholic Church caught hell from every direction? Child, please. No, really... child. please.

Sexual predators come in every race, color, creed, class and sexual orientation. Believe that!

So, I suppose there are so many reasons why I believe Eddie Long is guilty. What amazes me, however, is that so many otherwise intelligent African American men and women will not even allow themselves the possibility that Eddie Long is neither "bishop" nor "prophet" nor "saint" but a stone cold sinner; and one who did not just "fall down" Donnie Clurkin style but whom does not have the character, gumption or wherewithal as a man to admit that he tried to "father" his own sex slaves by having them call him "Daddy" and creating a covenant to enter into and maintain a sexual relationship with his "Spiritual Sons".

Hence, in my disgust (and necessary amusement---humor is how I cope with the ridiculous), I provided a translation of Eddie Long's "sermon" to his sheep congregation, if only to help others understand how religious rhetoric and coded language oft times go hand-in-hand, in the only manner that I could. I live-tweeted both church services at New Birth in such detail that some tweeters thought I was there in Atlanta. Ah, technology, gotta love it...behold, the hilarity of my entire Twitter Timeline. Anything in quotes is my own translation from one of the Pastors (be it Eddie, Bernice or a Junior), the rest are contributions from the great minds on Twitter:

Scroll Down and read from the Bottom Up (That's how Twitter works)

Yep. Now, That's Church...and I'm Shaking My Head.

# Now that's church... RT @RayBeckerman: "Khawuleza" Miriam Makeba 1966 Sun Sep 26 13:38:34 2010 via ÜberTwitter

LMAO! RT @eddielongstroke: LongFellows Youth Academy AKA Tenderonis for Jesus. #praise Sun Sep 26 13:38:03 2010 via ÜberTwitter

I suppose it would help if we understood that ALL religions begin as cults... all of them, so when you recognize the behavior... *shrug* Sun Sep 26 13:18:00 2010 via TweetDeck

LOL!! Girl, he changed clothes & was like "get im!" RT @myexpresslane: ROFL @ drgoddess "It was #EddieLong" I can't with you....bwhahahahaha Sun Sep 26 13:17:30 2010 via TweetDeck

Thank you! I do my best! *curtsy* RT @Checkandmate: I truly like your irreverent, humorous, unblinking lambasting of that farce of a sermon. Sun Sep 26 13:16:33 2010 via TweetDeck

LMAO!!!! RT @LoveMySkip: We got praise wigs and denial wigs y'all!!!!!! RT @elledub_1920: @areefuhstanklin I'm calling it a denial wig. Sun Sep 26 13:16:00 2010 via TweetDeck

@chasi863 And look at how New Birth is ready to die on the cross for #EddieLong. The comparison is more than fair, actually... Sun Sep 26 13:15:34 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to chasi863

@chasi863 The Peoples' Temple had a high degree of communalism and love flowing amongst the congregants. They were true Believers... Sun Sep 26 13:15:01 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to chasi863

@chasi863 All of that manipulation & ideology is the same. And in Jim Jones's case "the media" & "gov't" became the enemy, too... Sun Sep 26 13:14:24 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to chasi863

@chasi863 The characteristics of theater, manipulation, exploitation, hierarchy that doesn't follow the same rules, group sacrifice.. Sun Sep 26 13:13:53 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to chasi863

@chasi863 I can explain this in full later but ppl have alot of misconceptions about Jim Jones. These megachurches are ALOT like his church. Sun Sep 26 13:13:08 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to chasi863

RT @chasi863: I could be wrong 4 this..but this sounds like jim jones and the peoples temple. All I have to say is DONT DRINK THE KOOL AID!! Sun Sep 26 13:12:33 2010 via TweetDeck

Now, that's sayin' ALOT, Miss Reefuh! Whew! they wore even you out! SMH. RT @areefuhstanklin: Girl, even I can't approve of that foolery. Sun Sep 26 13:12:00 2010 via TweetDeck

It was #EddieLong RT @blogdiva: this image right here is gold RT SMH. RT @jelani9: A short black man in an extremely outspoken suit Sun Sep 26 13:11:26 2010 via TweetDeck

Yes she is!! RT @ndcollier: And @profblmkelley is doing a fabulous job discussing the horrors of such behavior (kicking folks out). @jelani9 Sun Sep 26 13:11:04 2010 via TweetDeck

@bomani_jones @jamesdillard LOL!!! I have never seen that but the idea is QUITE funny... Sun Sep 26 13:10:26 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to bomani_jones

RT @bomani_jones: RT @jamesdillard: In Pittsburgh, people wear their Steelers jerseys to church. Its not irreverent, its their Sunday Best. Sun Sep 26 13:09:55 2010 via TweetDeck

RT @eddielongstroke: Pastor doesn't molest, he seduces. Jesus be the age of consent! #praisethelaw(d) Sun Sep 26 13:08:27 2010 via TweetDeck

SMH. RT @jelani9: A short black man in an extremely outspoken suit accused me of lying about being media..armed security took me outside. Sun Sep 26 13:07:58 2010 via TweetDeck

See? RT @jelani9: Security approached me near the end of the event, (falsely) accused me of lying about why I was there and kicked me out. Sun Sep 26 13:05:50 2010 via TweetDeck

Her, too! LOL! RT @fannielouwho: I had a righteous commitment. I hope y'all got this same love for me... I wanna walk into the light, too! Sun Sep 26 12:52:18 2010 via TweetDeck

LMAO!!!! This Twitter account is off the chain. I can't take it!!! AAHAHAHAHAH!! RT @eddielongstroke: I rebuke me in the name of Jesus! Sun Sep 26 12:51:44 2010 via TweetDeck

The choir competition? At New Birth, of course! Chile... and it's FREE, too... lawd...RT @MGhasspoken: Where? Sun Sep 26 12:46:49 2010 via TweetDeck

@girly1121 Truth be told, it will be #EddieLong's congregation that will come out in droves. They need the distraction. #priorities Sun Sep 26 12:45:30 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to girly1121

Indeed! RT @girly1121: All of u on Twitter and Facebook talking about #EddieLong better be at the polls on election day!!! #priorities Sun Sep 26 12:45:01 2010 via TweetDeck

The only person I can think of who MIGHT approve of #EddieLong's praise wig is @areefuhstanklin ... Hmmm... *scratches chin* lol Sun Sep 26 12:44:43 2010 via TweetDeck

LOL!!!! I hope we're not all going to hell... in a handbasket... or in #EddieLong's wig. RT @wizardofoz321: *falls off a cliff* Sun Sep 26 12:44:01 2010 via TweetDeck

I just realized that those invested in hypermasculinity in the church have just caught up with Gangster Rap. Who's more paid, btw? Sun Sep 26 12:43:09 2010 via TweetDeck

"There is a choir competition sponsored by the 100 Black Men at 4 o'clock, it's a free event so come back if you'd like to. Amen? Amen" SMH. Sun Sep 26 12:42:20 2010 via TweetDeck

Yes, with recent additions for what could work BETTER at 11am. RT @Choqlate: Well of course the 8am show is the same as the 11am show... Sun Sep 26 12:41:37 2010 via TweetDeck

AHAHAHAAH!!! I want him to do time just to face the truth of his bald head, alone. RT @LoveMySkip: not with that s-curl wig he ain't. Sun Sep 26 12:40:56 2010 via TweetDeck

I love her for her witnessing!! RT @BlackElleWoods: Yeah, she's in New Birth right now, so that's a 1st hand account. Sun Sep 26 12:39:57 2010 via TweetDeck

LMAO! I am crying laughing. I never thought Twitter could out-do group television but we just did w/group church. RT @LoveMySkip: *muerte* Sun Sep 26 12:39:07 2010 via TweetDeck

"Maybe you thought you came to hear a man make a confession but actually it's your turn to make a confession..." SMH---the Junior Pastor Sun Sep 26 12:36:27 2010 via TweetDeck

By the way, the choir broke out into "God is an awesome God". They do be jammin' up in New Birth. Yes, Lawd, Yes, Lawd... SMH... Sun Sep 26 12:35:52 2010 via TweetDeck

Amen Corner

Yes, he did! Those are all direct quotes. After that, I add my own spin. SMH. RT @DJ_RideMyStache: WTF? He actually SAID that? Sun Sep 26 12:35:22 2010 via TweetDeck

LMAO! NOO! RT @BlackElleWoods: you see this? RT @indigochic5: Someone yelled out we wanna know the truth and got ran out of the Church!!!!! Sun Sep 26 12:34:34 2010 via TweetDeck

Wow, he said the SAME five rocks analogy AND threw the mic down in the same way, grabbed his wife & ran up the aisle. SMH... #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:34:00 2010 via TweetDeck

"I feel like Goliath, David, rather, facing Goliath" ---#EddieLong No, you said it right the first time, you power abuser. Sun Sep 26 12:33:30 2010 via TweetDeck

"As you know, there are accusations and attacks made against me... and I am going to vigorously fight all of them". Cuz I can't be broke. Sun Sep 26 12:32:34 2010 via TweetDeck

He said curse, nurse, rehearse OR reverse. You know he rhymes! SMH... LOL! RT @Choqlate: I think he said "reverse it," not "rehearse it." Sun Sep 26 12:32:02 2010 via TweetDeck

"I have never portrayed myself as a perfect man; but I am not the person they are portraying in the media". I am MORE handsome! #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:31:24 2010 via TweetDeck

"The painful situation that I find myself and my church in..." Cuz we're all in this together, right, #EddieLong SMH Sun Sep 26 12:30:46 2010 via TweetDeck

"They shall walk and not faint" -- Cuz on Twitter they been faintin' all morning at New Birth. #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:29:50 2010 via TweetDeck

"We must not forget our strength is not in man, is not in #EddieLong but the Lord" --- cuz I'm guilty as sin and I need y'all to prepare. Sun Sep 26 12:29:14 2010 via TweetDeck

This is the 2nd time in 1 week that somebody used the alphabet for words of encouragement. Sesame Street would love the Black Church. Sun Sep 26 12:28:30 2010 via TweetDeck

"God would come in the midst of us... and touch folk" --Basically, that's a confession from #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:27:57 2010 via TweetDeck

AHAHAH!!! RT @Checkandmate: Bishop Eddie Long says I've got #5Rocks - DEA to raid church. News at 11 Sun Sep 26 12:27:33 2010 via TweetDeck

Please do. I don't own a Bentley, I have a broke down Honda hooptie. RT @JaneBozarth: Excuse me while I go write @drgoddess into my will. Sun Sep 26 12:27:13 2010 via TweetDeck

This is deep. Many aspects of his 11am sermon are different from his 8am sermon. This is a psychologist's playground. Sun Sep 26 12:26:38 2010 via TweetDeck

"We can make it through these tough times if WE stay focused on the spiritual things that have brought us thus far" ---Stay out of court. Sun Sep 26 12:26:09 2010 via TweetDeck

Not in any way, shape or form. Not one iota. RT @GreggVoss: Does any of this shock you? Because it shouldn't. Sun Sep 26 12:24:57 2010 via TweetDeck

"Or you can rehearse it...and still being beaten by what happened" --He's telling the boys not to retell their stories. SMH. #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:24:29 2010 via TweetDeck

"You can curse it...or nurse it... " --- I'm trying to nurse my sons to change their testimony. Please, Lawd... #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:23:39 2010 via TweetDeck

Or theirs... RT @LoveMySkip: whenever he started talking about tsunamis and Katrina I just KNEW that negro lost his fucking mind. Sun Sep 26 12:22:51 2010 via TweetDeck

"You have to learn how to still be a spiritual witness" --- cuz I'm about to have state's witnesses against me and I need y'all. #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:22:31 2010 via TweetDeck

"The greatest pain in all of that is to love somebody who doesn't love you back" Boys, you better love me back! #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:21:11 2010 via TweetDeck

"There are situations of deception that brings about pain...when one has been betrayed by those that they love" Mmm-Hmm... #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:20:50 2010 via TweetDeck

Wow. This is a whole new low. He is scaring the church into defending him so they won't lose their sense of community. SMH. #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:20:07 2010 via TweetDeck

OOoohhh NOOO!!!! He done evoked Hurricane Katrina to talk about pain & church communities being washed away!! :-O #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:19:40 2010 via TweetDeck

"...and we are subject to taste distasteful and painful situations" Yes, #EddieLong, just long those teen boys you manipulated. SMH. Sun Sep 26 12:18:48 2010 via TweetDeck

@rolandsmartin Because the U.S. is still heavily segregated, ESPECIALLY on Sundays... Sun Sep 26 12:18:03 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to rolandsmartin

"Our purpose today is two-fold..." Absolutely, #EddieLong, you gotta get a message to your accusers to be silent. Sun Sep 26 12:16:56 2010 via TweetDeck

Alright, everybody, let's listen closely for his messages to his vict--er, accusers... Sun Sep 26 12:16:24 2010 via TweetDeck

"New Birth, y'all stay focused..." cuz I still got another spell to put on you. #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:15:30 2010 via TweetDeck

I Put a Spell On You…Because You're Mine

@rolandsmartin There is something to be said about this crisis, though cuz George Bush's Faith-Based Initiatives helped these mega churches. Sun Sep 26 12:15:02 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to rolandsmartin

By the way, folks, check out my new iPad! ---#EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:13:35 2010 via TweetDeck

"I'm not leaving you if you don't leave me" --- #EddieLong Amen, Preacher, we do get the leadership we deserve SMH... Sun Sep 26 12:11:02 2010 via TweetDeck

Is it me or does #EddieLong's wife posture herself more like his mother? It's just odd. She's beautiful, so don't get me wrong but... Sun Sep 26 12:10:35 2010 via TweetDeck

"God says it. We believe it. That settles it." Oh but not in the court of law of the United States of America, #EddieLong Oh no. Sun Sep 26 12:09:28 2010 via TweetDeck

RT @bmockaveli: RT drgoddess: #EddieLong said, "I am not the man I am portrayed to be on television" -- that's what R.Kelly said!! <--MMPH! Sun Sep 26 12:06:25 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @Aqua174: entire speech. | Video: Bishop Eddie Long Speaks to New Birth Congregation via @MyFoxAtlanta Sun Sep 26 12:05:56 2010 via TweetDeck
OMG, y'all, I CANNOT get over his lace front, jheri curl wig. I want to harm whoever even made that... Sun Sep 26 12:05:10 2010 via TweetDeck
Basically but even that's a bit much 4 him RT @insanityreport: so the Eddie Long translation is: "I want to come out the closet but I can't" Sun Sep 26 12:04:11 2010 via TweetDeck
AHAHAAH!! RT @LDaialogue: How is #BishopEddieLong "David" in the analogy of David vs. Goliath? David wasnt buffled wearing muscle shirts. Sun Sep 26 12:02:00 2010 via TweetDeck
EXACTLY! Same w/Gangsta Rap, imo. RT @MGhasspoken: The music was good, but that is how they draw people just like the music industry. Sun Sep 26 12:01:32 2010 via TweetDeck
@TheFreedomTweet AHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!! #ChapelHill #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 12:00:59 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to TheFreedomTweet
#EddieLong said, "I am not the man I am portrayed to be on television". Well, neither am I. For ex., I'm not really invisible. Sun Sep 26 12:00:03 2010 via TweetDeck
Morning! Come getchu some: RT @TheFreedomTweet: Good Morning Good People!:-) Sun Sep 26 11:59:09 2010 via TweetDeck
@BlackElleWoods It's listed at under "New Birth MBC" Sun Sep 26 11:57:29 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to BlackElleWoods
Like I said of Madea this past Thursday, if you don't see why Tyler Perry is popular after watching New Birth, you're not watching. Sun Sep 26 11:56:31 2010 via TweetDeck
Right. At the end of the day, that's why everybody's there. Big concert. RT @elledub_1920: you gotta admit the music is on point #doe Sun Sep 26 11:55:33 2010 via TweetDeck
& debit RT @DoktaDivah: While I don't think prosperity is bad in and of itself..I thought the ultimate goal was a deeper relationship w/God? Sun Sep 26 11:55:06 2010 via TweetDeck
Exactly. RT @sjean70: also growing up it was an alien concept to us that preachers go paid. my dad had a full time job and a church. Sun Sep 26 11:54:15 2010 via TweetDeck
Yes.. RT @sjean70: I have this discussion re prosperity ministry with actual prosperity ministers ... they're justifications are amazing ... Sun Sep 26 11:53:58 2010 via TweetDeck
Girl, yes, if I was a King sibling, I'd be fighting, too. RT @aaw1976: he's the king.....smh King children come get your sister. smdh Sun Sep 26 11:53:15 2010 via TweetDeck
Come getchu this blessing! lol @BlackElleWoods: Where are you watching the service? Sun Sep 26 11:52:45 2010 via TweetDeck
"We pray... there will be no debt for the next generation"... Bernice, all y'all gotta do is watch Suze Orman. Jesus... Sun Sep 26 11:51:29 2010 via TweetDeck
"As we sow this seed...we sow it, Father God, knowing that it's attached to a harvest"... LOL. Oh God... Sun Sep 26 11:50:33 2010 via TweetDeck
"We are a people of God...we are a corporate body, a priesthood of believers" Damn. Did Bernice just watch "Wallstreet"? Sun Sep 26 11:49:37 2010 via TweetDeck
"We don't fail God. We believe God's word...and contained in what we sow is a harvest" (or a Bentley, however you so define it). Sun Sep 26 11:48:09 2010 via TweetDeck
How's Bernice gon' tell congregants not to come before the King empty handed? LOL!!! What if I just have a can of soup? That alright? Sun Sep 26 11:47:43 2010 via TweetDeck
Rev. Bernice King is much more bold at 11am service than she was at 8am...cuz she wasn't sure what #EddieLong was gonna admit... Sun Sep 26 11:46:58 2010 via TweetDeck
Well, at least Ms. Agnes isn't fake. Cuz in the 8am service, she was crying real hard. Now she's just smiling big. Bless her heart... Sun Sep 26 11:46:24 2010 via TweetDeck
@sjean70 No, the fact that churches need $$ is not lost on this discussion of tithing. But you don't need my W2s or a Bentley. Sun Sep 26 11:45:03 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to sjean70
Yep. LOL!!!! RT @sjean70: Ppl are allowed to follow who they want and I am allowed to criticize them for it. LOL. Sun Sep 26 11:44:32 2010 via TweetDeck
@blogdiva And that was up on the Chicago Bull's Jumbotron screen. Ain't nothin' wrong with using technology! Don't hate! LOL! #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 11:43:16 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to blogdiva
Girl, please. You should have seen the Powerpoint at Savior's Day! lol RT @blogdiva: they use POWERPOINT slides in churches now? #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 11:42:45 2010 via TweetDeck
Yes, because if we were in South Africa doing HIV/AIDS work, there's NO WAY he could've had sex with a young man at night. None. #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 11:41:48 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @Noireboss1: @the previous & following verses talk about following God &exercising his rightousness in order to profit His way (not ours) Sun Sep 26 11:38:53 2010 via TweetDeck
Is it just me or do those chords sound strangely like Peter Gabriel's "That's Just the Way It is?" I know a good song when I hear one... Sun Sep 26 11:32:57 2010 via TweetDeck
Nope, live tweeting: @sjean70: drgoddess -- you preaching? Sun Sep 26 11:32:12 2010 via TweetDeck
Interesting...and sad, really but it's a cycle RT @ndcollier: Eddie Long did say that he didn't have an ideal relationship with his father. Sun Sep 26 11:31:14 2010 via TweetDeck
In a related note, I learned on "Larry King Live" that "Saturday Night Live" has a test audience at 8pm before they go "live" at 11:30pm Sun Sep 26 11:29:03 2010 via TweetDeck
I'm pretty impressed that they repeat the service to the exact song, letter & prayer at 11am that they did at 8am. Sun Sep 26 11:28:38 2010 via TweetDeck
Isaiah 48:17 Lord, teach me to PROFIT and lead me in the way to go? Oh. My. God... SMH... Sun Sep 26 11:27:50 2010 via TweetDeck
Matthew 6:33 is about casting out poverty? Really, New Birth? SMH... Sun Sep 26 11:27:18 2010 via TweetDeck

Back to Lies of Biblical Proportions, Act II, Service II

Girl, I'll NEVER forget the Voices of Inner Strength Tour! RT @BernadetteDavis: Um, drgoddess ... what story are you about to tell? Hmmm. Sun Sep 26 11:26:46 2010 via TweetDeck
He told everyone, "say Monneeeeeyy! Moooneeeyy!" Snatch it! Grab it! And the congregation did it. I was like :-O !!! Sun Sep 26 11:25:15 2010 via TweetDeck
The small church was just outside of ATL. The preacher told everyone to pray for money & had folks snatching it out of the air. Sun Sep 26 11:24:36 2010 via TweetDeck
And it was on that tour that I learned, once and for all, the absolute horrors of prosperity gospels, in a small & mega church... Sun Sep 26 11:23:39 2010 via TweetDeck
Dear Twitter.. I've been in two gospel choirs (yes, me). One was in college. For Spring Break, we went on a tour... Sun Sep 26 11:23:11 2010 via TweetDeck
!! RT @ndcollier: I heard & saw w/ my own ears & eyes a pastor who said if aren't tithing but wondering why you have cancer, check yourself. Sun Sep 26 11:22:41 2010 via TweetDeck
I have to admit, I'm pretty glad I grew up in a church where the officials take a 'vow of poverty'. Not perfect but we were all broke. lol Sun Sep 26 11:21:54 2010 via TweetDeck
I would put money on it that he was. So was R. Kelly... RT @elledub_1920: I also wonder if #eddielong was himself abused as a teen. Sun Sep 26 11:21:02 2010 via TweetDeck
@blogdiva @ashley_is @BasseyworldLive @ljoywilliams @carolynedgar You're right on time for 11am service. Click: Sun Sep 26 11:20:40 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to blogdiva
RT @blunted215: If your church asks you for your W2, it's probably safe to say that "come as you are" isn't the official policy there. Sun Sep 26 11:18:27 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @ashley_is: @BasseyworldLive my pastor told us we needed 2 tithe AND give an offering AND contribute 2 the building fund, etc..outrageous Sun Sep 26 11:16:39 2010 via TweetDeck
Yes, Lawd... RT @ajc: New Birth's 11 a.m. service starting now. #BishopEddieLong Sun Sep 26 11:15:43 2010 via TweetDeck

Personal Experience in the Pews of Prosperity
Those of you who ONLY protest against police brutality should know what #EddieLong knows: Judges are Elected. Sun Sep 26 10:15:56 2010 via TweetDeck
@mdrwhitener True but for the first time, I have alot of hope for midterm elections. #EddieLong will use ANY distraction. Victory is assured Sun Sep 26 10:14:16 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to mdrwhitener
RT @mdrwhitener: Dear Black Twitter ~ while we are watching Eddie Long, white twitter is somewhere telling Sarah Palin she'll win in 2012. Sun Sep 26 10:13:39 2010 via TweetDeck
LOL!! Yes, Lawd... RT @AndreaDMorgan: Like I said, Atlanta is a small town, there are lots of skeletons to unearth.*sips coffee* @aaw1976 Sun Sep 26 10:12:47 2010 via TweetDeck
Right! RT @GammasWorld: Okay I've read drgoddess & others but basically he still didn't say "hell naw I didn't do it" - correct? #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 10:11:43 2010 via TweetDeck
Excellent point @donlemoncnn #EddieLong loves the attention and could have made that short statement ANYTIME. SMH... Sun Sep 26 10:11:03 2010 via TweetDeck
Okay?!!! My soul is weeping for them. I hope they weren't watching but... SMH... RT @carolynedgar: Who's standing by those young men? Sun Sep 26 09:46:43 2010 via TweetDeck
TEACH!!! RT @thefriendraiser: @sfreynolds yet the public is quick to say "he did it" when we see a gang member on the news... Sun Sep 26 09:45:59 2010 via TweetDeck
@sfreynolds So Saturn return is sort of like, you're gonna have to face your true self? What goes around comes around? Sun Sep 26 09:45:29 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to sfreynolds
@sfreynolds ...I wonder how many gay Black men, in particular, have been depressed, suicidal or otherwise distraught & confused cuz of him? Sun Sep 26 09:44:33 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to sfreynolds
@sfreynolds Oh see, Sam, not for me. He's guilty as sin for so MANY reasons. Improperly spending the money, the prosperity preaching... Sun Sep 26 09:43:27 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to sfreynolds
LMAO!!!! RT @emokidsloveme Umm, he threw microphone down and ran out like James Brown #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:42:15 2010 via TweetDeck
*FLATLINES* D.N.R.!!! RT @mdrwhitener: When Eddie Long dropped the mic, did someone yell 'SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!'? Sun Sep 26 09:41:27 2010 via TweetDeck
LMAO!!!! We are so wrong. And yet so right. RT @Kiratiana: I'm skipping my own church for Church with Bishop Eddie Long...this is a TRIP!!! Sun Sep 26 09:40:42 2010 via TweetDeck
Dear God, you know I don't ask for much; but please deliver this New Birth church into the light of truth. Cuz I'm SMH. Sun Sep 26 09:39:41 2010 via TweetDeck
@DarthJaeda New Birth is named *in the suit* because the men said the upper administration not only knew about it but set it all, yes Sun Sep 26 09:38:39 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to DarthJaeda
RT @DarthJaeda: If he goes down, a lot of ppl in the corpo-er, church, are gonna have to answer some questions. This wasn't done in a vacuum Sun Sep 26 09:38:06 2010 via TweetDeck
Yes he DID!!! LMAO!! RT @dumilewis: @ndcollier that dude ran. he grabbed Vaness like he was running for first down and was out. Sun Sep 26 09:37:10 2010 via TweetDeck
Pls explain. RT @sfreynolds: ..technically, #EddieLong has no victims. He has accusers. This trial will be his Saturn Return. @SaturnSisters Sun Sep 26 09:36:30 2010 via TweetDeck
THAT is what Cadillac Kim was talking about! LOL!!! RT @myexpresslane: I just said what the hell is on his head...*grabs glasses* Sun Sep 26 09:35:36 2010 via TweetDeck
They did. RT @DarthJaeda: he can't possibly have had these relationships, using church funds, without SOMEBODY seeing the outgoing funds. Sun Sep 26 09:34:44 2010 via TweetDeck
@ajc I am, however, the man lookin' TOO FIERCE in those pictures I sent. Yes, indeed... #BishopEddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:34:27 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to ajc
RT @ajc: "I have never in my life portrayed myself as a perfect man. But I am not the man who is being portrayed on the television." Sun Sep 26 09:33:35 2010 via TweetDeck
I can't WAIT to hear @caddykim 's reaction to this morning's sermon... #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:33:11 2010 via TweetDeck
LMAO!!! Yes! RT @sfreynolds: "Our strength is not in man, but in the Lord." I think he's been listening to Cadillac Kim! #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:32:32 2010 via TweetDeck
Lemme tell y'all, #EddieLong just further enraged some of his victims. The lawyer's gonna get 30 MORE calls from diff men today. Sun Sep 26 09:32:04 2010 via TweetDeck
Yes, he is, girl! I know FoxTV is so damn mad! LMAO!!! RT @girly1121: #EddieLong is not trying to throw the election season into his mess!!! Sun Sep 26 09:31:03 2010 via TweetDeck
"You're not here by coincidence...there's a purpose for your life" (Um, yeah, I came cuz of the controversy... LOL). #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:30:22 2010 via TweetDeck
"And there's a period behind that. We stand by our pastor, period." (Now please make another donation). #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:29:44 2010 via TweetDeck
Those five rocks he ain't used? He's lettin' ERRYBODY know if he goes down, he's takin' the whole DL gospel community w/him! #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:28:49 2010 via TweetDeck
LMAO!!! Why on Earth would he wear a lace front jheri curl?! What the hell???! RT @Rena_Morris: It's a lace front wig he's wearing Sun Sep 26 09:27:40 2010 via TweetDeck
LMAO!!! RT @pointblank009: The only New Birth I listen to is the funk band from the 70's. For long it's "Time to Go." Sun Sep 26 09:26:42 2010 via TweetDeck
THIS!!! You said it, Sis! RT @swannsong: We are witnessing the ultimate seduction. Salvation thru me ~~> #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:25:44 2010 via TweetDeck
"I feel like David against Goliath but I'll tell you what...I've got five rocks & I haven't used one yet" (if I go down, we all is) #Long Sun Sep 26 09:24:28 2010 via TweetDeck
Please hear this...'cause I'm gonna need your continued blind faith to contribute to my lawyers' fees... #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:23:15 2010 via TweetDeck
You're right... SMH... RT @esisogah: my money is on them not believing and evidence, no matter what it is Sun Sep 26 09:22:05 2010 via TweetDeck
How on EARTH can people look at this man with this jheri curl in the 21st century and still take him seriously?! #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:20:22 2010 via TweetDeck
Well, of course, #EddieLong, ain't nobody say there wasn't power among the congregants. This ain't about THEM. Sun Sep 26 09:19:30 2010 via TweetDeck
I know Barack Obama is mad as hell #EddieLong tried to use his good name as a distraction in his shenanigans. SMH. Sun Sep 26 09:18:48 2010 via TweetDeck
Or you can BUY it and try to settle this lawsuit with money so these boys will go away and stop hatin' on my polyandry... #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:16:09 2010 via TweetDeck
"Deception, when one has been betrayed by those whom they loved" (that's a shout to the men to be silent)... #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:15:11 2010 via TweetDeck
AHAHAHAHA!!!! RT @DoktaDivah: I'm mad yall got me glued to my phone right now...let me go feed my children. Sun Sep 26 09:14:03 2010 via TweetDeck
Preach! His lies are just... SMH. RT @aaw1976: The sad thing is he still has not humbled himself. That bravado is gonna be the end of him. Sun Sep 26 09:13:52 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @fannielouwho: Life is definitely filled w/painful situations. When I got beaten in that jail until my legs went numb, that was painful. Sun Sep 26 09:13:12 2010 via TweetDeck
Don't mind me, the man behind the curtain, keep focusing on Oz! #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:11:23 2010 via TweetDeck
Of course you would use your Bible today, #EddieLong, you used it during the "sexual covenant" ceremony with the boys, too, right? Sun Sep 26 09:10:16 2010 via TweetDeck
On a REAL serious note, this congregation is going to be SO hurt when they are faced with the evidence. SMH... cuz he's STILL lyin'... Sun Sep 26 09:09:15 2010 via TweetDeck
MT @sfreynolds: Keywords 2 expect 2 hear in today's New Birth service: faithfulness, trust, authority, service, perseverance, steadfastness Sun Sep 26 09:08:29 2010 via TweetDeck
By the way, I can speak openly to y'all but I'ma need to READ this next statement---from my lawyer. #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:07:43 2010 via TweetDeck
Dag, #EddieLong said he'll be in the pulpit next week. Alright, next week don't go cuz lightning is gonna strike... SMH. Sun Sep 26 09:06:55 2010 via TweetDeck
I'm not so sure when it comes to you, that a "loving" congregation is the adjective I'd use but... Sun Sep 26 09:06:27 2010 via TweetDeck
"Good Morning to all our OTHER guests"---Oh, like this is OUR fault, #EddieLong? SMH... Sun Sep 26 09:04:24 2010 via TweetDeck
Every hero needs a soundtrack. Every hero needs a live band. I learned that from "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka". SMH. #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 09:03:40 2010 via TweetDeck
He's the Wizard

LMAO!!! RT @fannielouwho: I used to try to get my hair like that... it didn't quite work...I see it still doesn't... Sun Sep 26 09:02:54 2010 via TweetDeck 

Anointed, my Sister. ANOINTED... LOL!!! RT @randomjeweler: drgoddess *is annoyed somehow* Sun Sep 26 09:01:38 2010 via TweetDeck
What's wrong, #EddieLong, no flashy suit or tie today? SMH... Sun Sep 26 09:01:09 2010 via TweetDeck
Now y'all know $40,000 is a good down payment on #EddieLong's next Bentley... Sun Sep 26 09:00:27 2010 via TweetDeck
It looks like there's about 8,000 people in this room. Now if each of y'all gave just $5, we'd be blessed with $40,000 #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 08:59:54 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @fannielouwho: Yes, I had to press my way through many-a-crowd, especially during the Democratic National Convention. SMH... Sun Sep 26 08:58:39 2010 via TweetDeck
LOL @fannielouwho RT @EbonyStarr55: OMG! When I looked up and saw that name I thought I would die laughing...whew...I can't with y'all! lol Sun Sep 26 08:58:21 2010 via TweetDeck
AHAHAHAHAAHA!!!! Oh my, Oh my... RT @Inkognegro: Cancer...rooted in bitterness? Bone Disease rooted in envy? gotta be a metaphor. Sun Sep 26 08:55:25 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @Dawnavette: So clearly all of ATL had the same idea as moi. We're STiLL waiting in a stand-still line & cars. Keep. Coming. Sun Sep 26 08:55:03 2010 via TweetDeck
@EbonyStarr55 AHAHAHAHAHA!!! I knew you would love that, Eb! LOL! Sun Sep 26 08:54:40 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to EbonyStarr55
Y'all done upset the spirit of Fannie Lou Hamer. She's live tweeting, too! #FF @fannielouwho LOL! #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 08:53:15 2010 via TweetDeck
LMAO! Thanks! RT @DoktaDivah: @TheCubicleChick Yep! Follow @drgoddess and you won't need it, tho. I'm on my phone and totally up to speed. Sun Sep 26 08:52:22 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @kismet4: woke up 2 find @drgoddess & @jelani9 live tweeting New Birth's service (ATL) #EddieLong #troubleinmind #wadeinthewaterofscandal Sun Sep 26 08:51:59 2010 via TweetDeck
LOL! Followup on those health prayers RT @DryerBuzz: somebody might need to explain the baptist format and why everybody running down front Sun Sep 26 08:51:23 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @fannielouwho: I used to lead people into singing like this, so I can relate... Bless their hearts, music does soothe the savage beast... Sun Sep 26 08:50:41 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @fannielouwho: All I'm gonna say is I hope y'all are this excited about MY resurrection... albeit as a statue but still... #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 08:49:59 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @fannielouwho: This is a trip. See, I worked as a sharecropper so I don't know what riches other than one's character God requires... Sun Sep 26 08:49:35 2010 via TweetDeck
LMAO!!! RT @fannielouwho: What? That wasn't enough for y'all?... Sun Sep 26 08:45:52 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @fannielouwho: I didn't get this kind of turnout when I was trying to recruit y'all to vote and I was singing "This Little Light of Mine" Sun Sep 26 08:44:58 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @fannielouwho: Well, Good Morning... Now, see, I am sick and tired of this nonsense right here this mornin'... I can sing gospel, TOO nah Sun Sep 26 08:44:36 2010 via TweetDeck
"It comes in the silence of those who have stood up to testify against our King... it comes in denial..." <-- that's me... Sun Sep 26 08:43:28 2010 via TweetDeck
Dear Twitter, aren't y'all glad we dissected Rev. Bernice King's prosperity preaching shenanigans earlier this week? LOL. SMH. Sun Sep 26 08:43:06 2010 via TweetDeck
Um RT @taghive:the hot new tag #eddielong is most tweeted by @drgoddess, followed by @PinkCottonCEO and @CottonfieldUSA Sun Sep 26 08:42:35 2010 via TweetDeck
Not really, Bernice. Y'all have 25,000 members. Even $1 each is $25,000 to South Africa. It's not hard, really. SMH... Sun Sep 26 08:42:06 2010 via TweetDeck
"Know that you never come before a King without a gift and we're in the presence of a King of Kings" Who? #EddieLong or Jesus? SMH Sun Sep 26 08:41:28 2010 via TweetDeck
Oh Lawd... here comes Bernice... to take up the offering??? I can't... I just can't... Sun Sep 26 08:41:03 2010 via TweetDeck

King's Things

LMAO!!! RT @DryerBuzz: @drgoddess for today's twitter commentary - follow @drgoddess - please have your co-pay ready if you crack a rib Sun Sep 26 08:40:07 2010 via TweetDeck
My Lawd, they done flew Ms. Agnes in from South Africa. How they gon' use this old lady as a prime distraction. Shame on you! Sun Sep 26 08:39:49 2010 via TweetDeck
Well, we know #EddieLong has a powerful prayer. He said it during the "commitment ceremony" before sex with those young men. Sun Sep 26 08:38:57 2010 via TweetDeck
So in other words, when we were in South Africa, we were treating AIDs, not sleeping w/each other on the DL... SMH. Sun Sep 26 08:36:13 2010 via TweetDeck
@EbonyStarr55 Good Morning, Honey Buns! Oh Lawd, they're putting up South Africa & HIV. Won't @luvvieig be proud! #YesLawd #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 08:35:44 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to EbonyStarr55

Yup RT @jelani9: Sanctuary here is full,ppl on their feet in praise. Have a real sense that it won't matter what Long says today. #rideordie Sun Sep 26 08:34:51 2010 via TweetDeck
@tayari My feed is still up. You back up and running? Sun Sep 26 08:33:57 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to tayari
I know New Birth was named in the lawsuit but it's sad #EddieLong has them thinking they're all wrapped up in the charges LIKE HIM. Sun Sep 26 08:33:17 2010 via TweetDeck
What's the Matter, Massa? WE sick?

I am so mad at @CNN for having a "picture in picture" of New Birth in the corner. LOL!!! Sun Sep 26 08:31:48 2010 via TweetDeck
! RT @TB_BT: I see they are telling the guys at the altar to head back to their seats in the event not all are friends & something pops off Sun Sep 26 08:31:27 2010 via TweetDeck
So far, the prayers have been for #EddieLong, his family, his conquering and financial blessings & health of the congregation. SMH. Sun Sep 26 08:30:53 2010 via TweetDeck
I'm not even gonna say anything about these health chants. No I am not. No, I am not... SMH... Sun Sep 26 08:28:48 2010 via TweetDeck
LOL! RT @swannsong: I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with the caterpillar. What did the caterpillar ever do to the New Birthers? Sun Sep 26 08:28:18 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @Dawnavette: There was mad traffic on 285, and now the line to head into the church grounds is at a stand still. Stretches.. to Wal-Mart. Sun Sep 26 08:27:40 2010 via TweetDeck
"Lord, bring me into a wealthy place...he also brought them out with silver & gold" Good Lord, New Birth! Sun Sep 26 08:26:16 2010 via TweetDeck
"Make me rich. I am blessed going in and I am blessed going out... Jesus, you became that I might be made rich". LAWD!!!!! Sun Sep 26 08:25:13 2010 via TweetDeck
"Lord, teach me to profit and lead me in the way I should go..." OMG... Blasphemy, Blasphemy, Blasphemy! Sun Sep 26 08:24:42 2010 via TweetDeck
Not yet... OMG, they are breaking the curses against all finances, poverty & blessings. SMH. RT @tayari: my feed just went black.. yours? Sun Sep 26 08:24:18 2010 via TweetDeck
@JMH7694 Good Morning, no, I did not! Please let me know... Sun Sep 26 08:23:31 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to JMH7694
This is so sad. You just gon' pray for #EddieLong and no mention for anybody else in the church all hurt & confused? SMH... Sun Sep 26 08:22:57 2010 via TweetDeck

A Powerful Prayer… for Prosperity

I'm sorry but some of us ARE here to "spectate". It's not OUR faults! Sun Sep 26 08:21:46 2010 via TweetDeck
Follow #EddieLong and it'll give you all you need. LOL! RT @BlackGod917: please fill me in. I've been under a rock Sun Sep 26 08:19:12 2010 via TweetDeck
RT @jelani9: New Birth also has the uncommon status of having more male than female members. In Atlanta that's saying something. Sun Sep 26 08:18:49 2010 via TweetDeck
Sooo much. And it's not just that. How many died? RT @Brandale2221: My concern is the $$$... how much of the Church's tithes did he spend? Sun Sep 26 08:18:31 2010 via TweetDeck
Good Morning! To catch up on New Birth, watch here: , read @jelani9 & @Dawnavette #YesLawd #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 08:15:53 2010 via TweetDeck
Yes, New Birth, God does comfort and does defend...are y'all singing for those young men that your pastor seduced? SMH... Sun Sep 26 08:14:43 2010 via TweetDeck
Me too. They SANGIN', ain't they? RT @tayari: I am watching it live. Sun Sep 26 08:13:50 2010 via TweetDeck
You know, I am so very thankful for #EddieLong's shenanigans; because what they're singing right now shows you the games he plays... SMH... Sun Sep 26 08:13:27 2010 via TweetDeck
Yep! RT @Mamita1123: Commitment and issues...O_o All this getting folk out of their minds with music so whatever he says is cool? #NoBueno Sun Sep 26 08:12:32 2010 via TweetDeck
That's deep... RT @TB_BT: It's interesting how the sea of men is standing at the front of the altar in an attempt to protect it I suppose. Sun Sep 26 08:11:57 2010 via TweetDeck
Yes Sir! RT @jelani9 just pulled up on the campus of New Birth. Maybe a hundred folk are already here, prayer groups outside the sanctuary. Sun Sep 26 08:11:30 2010 via TweetDeck

Jesus Be a Fence Around Me
Wait. They are singing way too hard for #EddieLong to be guilty of sexual coercion. No WAY he could do this. Sun Sep 26 08:11:14 2010 via TweetDeck
Dear New Birth, nobody's mad at the majority of you. We know y'all ain't do it. But your pastor and those senior "servers" did. #EddieLong Sun Sep 26 08:10:04 2010 via TweetDeck
@Mamita1123 @TB_BT How are they singing this hard at 8:00am? Lawd, they got COMMITMENT at New Birth, let me tell you! Sun Sep 26 08:09:30 2010 via TweetDeck in reply to Mamita1123
LOL!! RT @Mamita1123: Is that Sunday service or a concert? RT Thank you! RT @TB_BT: Here's the feed I'm watching: Sun Sep 26 08:08:57 2010 via TweetDeck
Why didn't y'all tell me #EddieLong produced Christian Hip Hop CDs? Well, that's it, he *couldn't* have done this! No. WAY! Sun Sep 26 08:06:48 2010 via TweetDeck

The Kwah (Choir)
Thank you! RT @TB_BT: Here's the feed I'm watching: Sun Sep 26 08:05:18 2010 via TweetDeck
Yes, indeed! We put him on the job, 2. I told Jelani he had to take one 4 the team! RT @tayari: also @jelani9 is live tweeting from inside. Sun Sep 26 08:04:38 2010 via TweetDeck
CNN's covering it right now but I know Fox TV is covering it too. I prefer CNN... RT @Truely_Tuli: what channel does he come on ???? Sun Sep 26 08:03:45 2010 via TweetDeck

Get Tuned In and Turned On

The Good Lawd is calling you to New Birth, that's why... RT @marcpolite: Why am I up so early? Sun Sep 26 08:00:57 2010 via TweetDeck
@Orcaspapa So, if we don't have time to make fun of people, we had better MAKE time to do so. It doesn't have to be "your own" per se... 8:00 AM Sep 26th via TweetDeck in reply to Orcaspapa
@Orcaspapa Believe it or not, comedy is extremely important and what happens on SNL actually shapes public policy and can "un-elect" ppl... 8:00 AM Sep 26th via TweetDeck in reply to Orcaspapa
MT @Orcaspapa: Perhaps, Intelligent black w have better things to do then make fun of their gender & race on TV for a stupid lowlife public. 7:59 AM Sep 26th via TweetDeck

Yay AJC! RT @ajc: Parishioners are already filing into New Birth to hear Bishop Eddie Long's first comments since allegations. AJC is there. 7:58 AM Sep 26th via TweetDeck
Good Morning, Twitter. You've got three minutes to tune in and getchu some New Birth. Let's get it... lol! #EddieLong 7:57 AM Sep 26th via TweetDeck

It's Sunday Mo(u)rning
Start Reading Here, Scroll Up to read the Twitter feed in proper, chronological order. The chapter headings are to keep the order of the church (or for your amusement, whichever fits).

As always, I believe in and prefer primary sources, so don't rely on my shenanigans, read the transcript or watch Eddie Long's non-denial yourself:

For the New Birth congregation, all I can do is pray that you have discernment. Your pastor looks and feels guilty as sin and you know in your hearts you really do not need a court case (that will never happen, Eddie Long is going to settle this and claim to have done it to save the church) to consider that these young men are telling the truth about having been preyed upon and manipulated.

It doesn't matter how many people you kick out of church, even if they're not journalists, nor does it matter how many private investigators Eddie Long hires to try to smear his adolescent and young adult accusers, nor does it matter how many pastors gather in the sanctuary to pray over the potential loss of their bling, spring flings or young dings, it is the meek that shall inherit the Earth and it will be New Birth's parishioners who will be paying the legal fees and settlements for Eddie Long, on behalf of the young men he helped and hurt. Like this one:

New Birth can have a bright future. It will be kind of painful to get there, however, so prepare for the "Afterbirth":

Sorry about that. But removing Eddie Long from your loins is one of the best things you can do for your church.

Amen! Praise the Law(d)! Yes, Indeed!

Jesus Be a Liberation Theology. Part One...More to Come...

To follow our continued conversations on Twitter, use the hashtag: #EddieLong